taste testing ranch flavored ice cream

+ reasons why novelty is the best

May 16, 2023

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*note: if you are squeamish about strange food pairings this is not the post for you!

So, I know I’m about two months late to joining the convo about this ice cream. But as a Midwestern person who honestly does love ranch (and obviously, ice cream), I just needed to see for myself.

In case you missed it, Van Leeuwen released a new flavor this spring in collaboration with the ubiquitous Hidden Valley Ranch brand. It is exclusively sold at Walmart, and only until 5/28, so it took me awhile to find it. But, finally, after visiting three different Walmarts (yes, really), I found it - the last one on the shelf!

Here it is:

Now, doing this experiment was a risk both because it’s a sauce flavored ice cream and because I’m still in the clutches of the first trimester induced perpetual nausea (note: it’s way better now tho!). But it went just fine, and I’m proud to present the results.

My review of the ice cream itself: 3/10

I don’t mind the balance of sweet and salty. I think there could’ve been more tang from the buttermilk.
The texture is pleasant and creamy and the color is a true ranch (there’s a lil bit of pale green in there)
It’s better when slightly melty - I guess because then it’s basically just cold and lightly sweet ranch?
But mostly: It’s way milder tasting than I expected. I get the onion and garlic flavors, but where are the herbs?? I want the dill! I think if you’re going to do the whole ranch ice cream thing, you need to really, fully commit. Ranch is a distinctive, bold flavor and I simply wanted more.

Then, to further my research, I tried some pairings! I chose them based on suggestions from online reviews/my own intuition (ex: I like Wendy’s fries dipped in a frosty). They were:

Crushed Ruffles
Crushed cool ranch Doritos
Wendy’s fries
Wendy’s chicken nuggets

Ranking the pairings:

I liked the texture of the ice cream + fries combo. It was pleasantly salty & sweet. The chicken was my least favorite (beforehand, I thought I would like this one!). But then I remembered I generally don’t like sweet sauces with my chicken, so makes sense. The ruffles were just OK - I don’t think it added much other than texture (I could’ve gotten a particularly unsalty bag?). The cool ranch doritos were far and away the best combo. The sweetness of the ice cream paired really nicely with the mild heat of the chips. It added a ton of flavor and elevated the ice cream to something actually enjoyable. If you’re going to eat it, this is the way to do so.

So, yeah, I probably won’t buy this again. But I didn’t really try it because I thought it would become my new favorite (I understand the inherent limitations of ranch flavored ice cream). I tried it because it was novel, and I love novelty. I truly think it’s one of the major delights of life.

I’m not really someone who tries new things just for trying new things sake (ex: I tried white water rafting for the experience even though I am terrified of drowning and honestly should not have!). I want the new things to add to/expand/improve my existence. So for me, novelty is about trying new *and* unexpected/silly/exciting/memorable things. They can be big and planned or small and spontaneous.

For this example I tried to go into it with an attitude of “OK how can I make this an experience for myself” instead of just “how gross is it going to be?”. Essentially, novelty makes daily life fancy. I’d love to hear about the things you do/want to do for the sake of bright and shiny novelty. Please tell me in the comments!

Finally: should I create my own ranch ice cream recipe? I do own an ice cream maker and like a good flavor challenge.

PS: As a maple girl, the Van Leeuwen sweet maple cornbread flavor is truly 10/10 and I would recommend going out to get it like today.

some notable (and less notable) things

I watched B.J. Novak’s black comedy Vengeance again, and liked it even better the second time.
I went to Boston last week. My very cool sister graduated with a master’s degree (!!) and I ate a very delicious croissant from Lakon Paris Patisserie (no pic of the croissant because I just ate it).
The it’s almost the end of the first trimester fit. Special shoutout to the ice water.