"My goal is to be divorced by next Mother’s Day"

and other selected secrets/sparkles

May 19, 2023

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remember, in this context:

secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.

click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.

loosely defined themes of the week: mother’s day feelings, graduations, deep breaths

secrets

short & sweet/salty:

My husband and i haven't had sex in 9 years.
I just turned 47 & i'm afraid it's too late to change careers & do what i dream of.
I have a rare chronic disorder and I’m so anxious about being symptomatic again and I don’t know how I will deal with this for the rest of my life.
I’d be a phenomenal girlfriend.
I'm in my first full-time job that uses both of my degrees, but I really, really want to be a lawyer again. Mostly for the money, but also there's somehow less drama. Rich people whatever, but I have $225k in student loans for these.
I don’t know if I am good at my job or not, and I know there are things more important than work, but every time I make a mistake or receive feedback it makes me very sad.
I think I’m bad at my job and it makes me really sad.
I over-romanticized a new job that I moved to a new state for. I feel isolated and insecure and unsupported most of the time. at work. And dumb for having had such high expectations.
I had a real life meet cute.
I used to LOVE solo travel, now with a loving partner at home it feels so lonely.
I think I’m getting ghosted.
My mom got arrested last week and now I don’t know what to do.
Furious that men have decades to decide to be dads and I have 5 years left to become a mom.
29 and nowhere near ready for kids. Feel so much pressure to do something I’m not sure I want.
I had a miscarriage in college that was for the best but mother’s day is still hard w/o emotional support.
I’m jealous of my boyfriend’s family dynamic.
I’m living in a place that doesn’t feel like I belong and the idea of moving is so overwhelming.
I just want to be with my partner and their family and that’s it. Mine is so stressful.
I feel trapped in my relationship but I’m too scared to break up.
I’m filing for divorce this week and am scared to tell my husband.
My anxiety and lack of motivation is ruining my marriage and it sucks.
No one planned anything for me for Mother’s Day and I’m hurt.
Guy canceled our date because he thinks I’m a “mean person” he’s met me once.
I think I have borderline personality disorder but I’m too scared to talk about it.
I left my job to pursue a new career and nothing has landed yet.
I never feel happy.
I’m pregnant after a recent miscarriage. Happy but terrified of another possible loss.
Holidays for parents make me feel nothing but resentment, grief, anger, and envy.
I’m in a confusing new fling and I don’t know what we’re doing and I love it.
I’m dating someone but think I’m in love with some one else.
My mom died this week, I hadn’t talked to her in months, it sucks.
I was let go of my job, and I don’t know what I feel.
I’m going home for the summer and I’m not thrilled about it.
I got dominated by an Italian man 15 years my senior and I can’t stop thinking about it.
I really miss this person and it keeps hitting me so hard out of nowhere.
I’m into my dance teacher.
I’m so unhappy being single and I’m scared it’s going to be this way forever.
My grad program is toxic + they’re not letting me graduate. Idk what to do.
I got into grad school but now I’m terrified of uprooting my life.
I don’t feel happy but I’m scared to communicate it because my partner would fall apart.
Supporting my SO through their mental health journey has been draining lately.
I just renewed my lease at my apt and can’t make rent.
Everything is breaking in my rental house right as I’m trying to move out.
I’m going on a date Wednesday and I’m so excited.
Realizing I may be asexual at 33, 6 years into my marriage.
Just got laid off after finally leaving the classroom last year. So scared to start over again.
My cat ran away and I feel like it’s my fault.
I’m in my first wlw relationship and my mom doesn’t know yet.
Had my first one night stand last night…and I really liked it.
Coming out as bi at almost 30 is nerve wracking.
I fall in love every time I meet someone new…I guess I’m just addicted to love.

long-form:

I’m 33 and just started a 5 year apprenticeship program and I’m now worried about having to put off having kids for the next 5 years and wondering if it’ll be too late to start then… I’m feeling full of guilt and regret that things didn’t line up in my life in my 20s and I worry now I won’t be able to be a mom.

sparkles

short & sweet:

I finally landed my first full time Administrative job, I know I deserve this but I am terrified of how I’ll adjust (haven’t worked full time before).
My best friend bought a plane ticket to join me for my first international travel!!
Took a deep breath today.
Graduating law school next week… I’ve been dreaming about this since I was 10 years old.

I'm autistic, queer and non binary. I love myself so much. I'm gonna be a great librarian.
Applied for my second master's program this week! Wish me luck because I'm kinda nervous.
Finally finished an organizational project I've been working on off-and-on for the past year over the weekend! So excited to finally have that done! :)

Seeing Rhys graduate with a City and Regional Planning degree! City planners (and those who know and love them) unite!!
I’m a teacher, my students don’t know my first name always. a student asked and i told them and they said it didn’t sound like my name. i asked what name suits me better and they said a name i’ve always wanted to use if i had a daughter :,)

I started meds for ADHD and they’re helping!!
Cat sitting this weekend for my friends. He is the best cat.
Had a stressful day yesterday and decided to go dancing in a queer club and it was bliss.

Got a teaching job in my town! No more hour commute, lots more time with my babes.
I made a new friend :)
My wife and I officially filed our name change to combine our surnames!
Got a job offer. Used to bargain for better work conditions.
My bf got this card for me, these are his kitties and he wrote the sweetest note.

My dog getting the zoomies in our yard while I tended to our garden.
Seeing my kiddos (I’m a teacher) at prom over the weekend! They were all so excited!
Took myself on a date and watched a romcom alone at the movies and splurged on snacks.

This is literally my fave thing to do!

Booked our wedding venue, everything is coming together and I’m so happy.
My baby boy learning to clap and seeing the joy on his face when he figured it out.
Planning a party for my staff and they’re excited about it.
I graduate with my masters degree in clinical counseling on Friday!
I got my IUD out so we can start trying to conceive.
I think I want to have kids!

I’m graduating from law school on Saturday! 10 year old me would cry if she knew.
Going on a first date tonight and I’m super excited about it!
Overheard customers talking about how amazing and valuable I am.
Incredibly avoidant attachment bc of trauma - been seeing the same guy for 2 months and it’s <3.
After a shitty break-up, my BFF is finally realizing she’s whole/happy all on her own!

My baby finally said Mama two days ago!
Had our 27 week scan and baby is growing on schedule. I made it to the 3rd trimester!
Baking pies with my best friend after not seeing each other for weeks <3