"my boyfriend planted blackberries in his yard cause he knows they’re my favorite"
and other selected secrets/sparkles
Hi friends, thank you so much for being here! It means a lot to me. If you enjoy my writing, I’d love it if you’d share A Little Something Sweet with the people you love. I also invite you to upgrade to a paid subscription, which gives you access to my Rom Coms Revisited movie club, exclusive recipes, and other subscribers-only content. Your support of my work allows me to keep creating here and elsewhere. I’m so grateful, xoxo.
remember, in this context:
secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.
click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.
loosely defined themes of the week: leaving shitty jobs, community gardening, rekindled love
secrets
short & sweet/salty:
I kinda like me best friend, but I don’t know what to do because I’ve never liked a girl before and I don’t want to lose her.
I think my almost 3 year marriage is headed towards divorce, and that terrifies me.
I made an appointment to go look at wedding dresses by myself and haven’t told anyone because I’m scared they’ll make me feel guilty for not inviting them. :(
I’m really hoping to get pregnant this month.
I love my toddler so much I don’t really want another baby. But my husband does.
My life is such a mess rn and I don’t know what to do.
I have to pretend you’re laying next to me so I can sleep at night. I miss you.
Just broke up with my fiance cause he cheated on me since November and he said that we were no longer a couple all this time.
I drink too much alcohol lately and it scares me.
I’m longing for friendship ride or die outside of my marriage…
I made a strawberry rhubarb pie for the first time but I think I overdid it on the cornstarch.
I’m constantly scared and hyper aware I’m going to miscarry again this time around.
I’ve just been diagnosed with OCD and I’m scared to tell anyone.
I love my colleagues but I want to quit.
Husband goes back 2 work and it’ll be me, 1 mo old, 2.5 year old home alone. I’m already stressed.
First close friend in this phase of life ghosted me last week out of the blue and I feel gutted.
Opening up only my side of my relationship this summer…feeling nervous and excited.
My parents were mean about my new buzzcut & I hate that it hurt my feelings so much.
I need to break up with him but don’t want to break his heart.
I live a beautiful, queer, polyamorous life but I’m so scared to tell my family.
I’m drowning financially and I can’t take it anymore.
Hyperfixated on someone who does not even think about me.
I’m scared no one genuinely likes me.
I’m going to finally have sex with the guy I’ve known since 8th grade.
My husband makes 6x what I make and I feel ashamed that I can’t provide as much.
I think I’m autistic but have no clue how to get a diagnosis/feel like no one will understand.
I wish I had more friends/more of a community.
I’m worried my dad will die one day bc he refuses to go to the doctor.
I’m developing a schoolgirl crush and I forgot how fun it is.
Currently moving into a new house w/ partner. Absolutely full of regret. Shoulda left him instead.
I’m so grateful that our narcissist dad died before my first nephews 1st birthday.
Feel resentment building for my partner bc I express my needs and he gets defensive instead.
I think I’m ready to tell someone I’m in love with them…it’s been a long time since I felt like this & it’s scary.
I’m starting a new job outside of the classroom and I don’t know what it means to not be a teacher.
I’m tired of not having any boundaries with my mom.
I’m petrified of being alone and feel like a burden on my parents.
I get fucked over by every guy I try to date..
I’ve been dating a girl two months and nobody at home knows but we’re so happy <3
I’ve been putting off renewing the prescription for my SSRIs.
I have a first date with a coworker and no one knows.
I’m so glad my brother broke up with his toxic girlfriend.
I pretend I don’t want to get married because I’m upset my partner of 9 years hasn’t proposed.
I’m having the worst stomachache ever, I’m sitting on the toilet in agony, I wanna scream.
Sometimes I wish the illness was physical instead of mental.
I’m secretly jealous that my best friend is living her best life, while I’m working a 9 to 5.
Quitting the job that’s been making me sick with anxiety this week.
Update to last time: it’s mutual feelings for a coworker (forgot to mention at a brand new job). She’s emotionally unavailable and I can’t stop thinking about her!
I quit my job and I don’t know if it was the right decision.
I think I have to stop drinking & I feel sad to let it go.
I’m not my best friend’s best friend and it hurts.
I can’t remember to do basic chores and my parents (and myself) hate me for it.
Glad to be distanced from toxic family but it hurts to see them happy without me.
I pick my nose with (earth friendly) qtips. I’ve seen a dramatic reduction in sinus infections.
Working on a project with a good friend and starting to resent them, feels like I’m doing all the work.
I can’t stop crying today and it’s incredibly frustrating.
I’m in the friend zone willingly and it’s killing me. I’ve never met a person so perfect for me.
I feel like a failure. All the time.
Sometimes I regret moving so far away from home.
I think about divorce a lot.
I’m still really upset with how my ex best friend left things between us.
Partner’s bro (20yo) got married to his girlfriend (19yo) of 18 months on Friday and I don’t think they’ll last.
I’ve been gathering up the courage to leave my husband. I’m so close.
I’m on a path to being incredibly successful and I want to rub it in so many faces.
I’m jealous of how much more money my sister makes than me, it’s so unfair.
I’m scared I’m not good enough for the relationship I’m in.
Someone I consider a friend owes me hundreds of $ and I don’t know how to ask for it.
My dad is an alcoholic. For my last birthday in April he turned up completely drunk!
I hooked up with my ex that I haven’t seen in 2 years.
I graduate in a month and it makes me feel so anxious.
My spite has kept me going longer than it should have, and that makes me sad. Nothing else really helps.
I feel shitty that idk what the future holds for me & my new bf. I know I shouldn’t! But I do.
I find my close friend’s wife insufferable & have found myself avoiding friend bc of this. I feel guilty bc my friend is amazing! But wife is always around & makes things less fun.
I am thinking of cutting off my parents because they make me miserable.
I don’t know if my marriage is worth saving, and I’m having all types of feelings about it.
I’m 26, haven’t finished or started my master thesis. I feel stuck, don’t know where I’m going.
Should I come out….???
Not sure if I don’t feel fem bc of body image/misogyny or if I’m nonbinary.
I will be telling my partner of 4 years I kissed someone & opening up may save our relationship.
I’m doing prep for a colonoscopy and feeling so sorry for myself.
I’m slowly losing more mobility capabilities due to pain while I continue to wait for a surgery date.
I want to learn to be more honest with myself.
Dog died of cancer this week. I’m so angry we didn’t catch it in time.
I just quit my second job for the year…why are managers awful?
It’s hard to accept my mom when I need more from her than she can give.
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me on my 21st birthday & moved out. Hurts like a bitch.
My bff gets married this week and I think her fiance is wrong for her.
I am lonely but also too socially anxious to make new friends.
I like a guy 8 years younger but I am afraid of what others might say if we go out.
I found out how much my partner makes and I cried because he makes double my salary.
I’ve been on 16 first dates so far and am starting to think it’s me.
I don’t love my dad after everything he has put us through.
I am bi and am mourning that I’ll likely never be with a woman again (currently with a man). But also I’d mourn never being with a man again if I was with a woman (bi monog life lol).
My bestie abandoned her family and idk what to say to her. I’m so disappointed.
I wish I never married into this family.
I spent last night in the ER and feel so bad for ruining my partner’s birthday (even tho not my fault).
I don’t know who I really am, and I don’t know where to start to find out.
Recently hooked up with my ex after months of blocking him because of a messy breakup.
This kid on the trolley made me question if I can handle kids.
I think I want to elope after a few months.
I’ve been so stressed that I never feel in the mood and I’m scared it’ll hurt my relationship.
I feel that my mother’s love is conditional and it sucks.
I’m worried my emotions will never return after years of suppressing them.
I’m so anxious the place I love will become unlivable because of climate change.
I feel like a failure even though I’m objectively doing fine.
My boyfriend has no rhythm and it makes me cringe.
My dad died and he was an asshole but I also kind of miss him.
I’m pissed at my ex for giving up on us and I’m sad to think about the future we could’ve had.
I often feel immense sadness and happiness at the same time and don’t know how to just be.
I desperately want to move to a new city and start over.
I’m smoking weed while breastfeeding. Feeling bad but not bad enough to stop.
My hubby bought me some fishnets and we had STELLAR sex!!
I really dislike my roommate but my lease isn’t up until august :(
I’m numb 90% of the time and the rest is anger.
I rekindled with an ex and didn’t lose feelings for him.
I’m afraid I don’t know what love is once the obsession has faded.
I’m thinking of checking myself in to the psych ward. I just don’t know what else to do lately.
I might not have graduated college because of one grade I just got back :(
Would’ve given birth now if I hadn’t had an abortion. And I don’t regret it at all.
I’m 26 and a virgin, I feel like I’m a failure and incapable of being loved.
I feel like an imposter in uni, like I’m exaggerating all the time.
My girlfriend left me right before we were going to move across the country together.
I don’t want to be responsible for anything anymore.
My cat walked across a slab of shortbread I had cooling on the table and I served it anyway.
I am miserable.
Depressed about my medical issues making international travel harder/slower.
I have been sleeping with my boss for the last year and a half and I can’t get myself to stop.
I wish I didn’t have to have a relationship with my parents.
I finally told my partner I want to break up.
I miss my boobs.
sparkles
short & sweet:
Finally reached Inbox Zero in my personal email account over the weekend after trying to achieve this for months. It might be a little silly, but I'm so relieved to finally have this completed.
Starting my second round of chemo and my labs are already looking better!
Started a new job and so far so good!!
My husband and I told our close friends I’m pregnant and they were so sweet and excited.
There’s a koala in the tree outside my house. I’ve been here for a year and this is the 1st!
I’m graduating w my doctorate tmmrw!
I ate chocolate today.
I got a kitten from the shelter yesterday!
I feel truly loved for the first time maybe ever romantically.
Got an interview at the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh (used to be a patient).
Got a job to replace my current toxic one :)
In NYC with my sister for the first time!
My mom wrote me a beautiful letter and included my correct pronouns! I feel so loved!
My brother texted me randomly telling me how much he loved me.
My husband and I decided we are ready to have kids and I’ve been on cloud nine ever since.
Doing really well in my new job, the first few weeks were a bit scary.
I left a really toxic work environment!
Checking baby monitor to see toddler reading a book in his bed this morning.
Started my first real job in my field today and I love it!
Free smoothies at work today! Completely changed my outlook on the day.
Just got back from a conference and I’m so excited for the future!!
My psychiatrist listened to my problems and came up with a helpful treatment plan…wild.
I’ve been planning a kindergarten graduation. It was today - soooo cute!
I got a job I really wanted! :)
The smell of jasmine blooming in my neighborhood.
I’m heading on a 5 week trip to Europe with my bestie <3
My nephew is one week old tomorrow. He’s so cool.
I’m getting “married” (platonically) to my bff on sat & and it’s all coming together :)
Have been reading “self-help” books and am actually feeling better.
I’m moving in with my boyfriend in July & I know he’s the ONE.
After 12 years of trying to get to this point, have put in my registration paperwork to be a Psych.
I’m regularly exercising in a way that I enjoy and doesn’t trigger my body dysmorphia!
Work is really hard today but I get to enjoy my fave lunch in the park in the sunshine.
I decided today I’m starting a Substack! I’m very excited!
I think I’m in love for the first time.
My baby started laughing and I swear my heart is going to explode every time I hear it.
Watched my baby brother graduate from college today.
I got to live a dream of mine this weekend in NYC!
My dog makes me so happy!
My partner and I just reunited after being long distance for months. I’m more in love than ever.
My neighbors complimented the garden I’ve worked so hard on!
New bedroom furniture (more room for plants).
Went to a park yesterday with friends and I love them so much!
I bake cookies to take to work often and it makes everyone so happy. Baking is love.
Found my favorite candy bar at a new store (it’s hard to find).
My baby is finally latching properly.
Just finished a great game night with my friends!!
Just saw Paramore live and they were amazing.
I’ve been on a few dates with a girl that I really like and I feel so good around her.
I turned 30 today!
I”m graduating to become a therapist in two weeks!
After years of being homophobic, my mom now buys gifts for my girlfriend.
Just had my first embryo transfer <3
Meeting up with my brother this weekend to repair our relationship after being estranged for 6 years.
I’m finally letting myself say no to things and feeling good about it.
My partner keeps affirming what supportive, kind, big love can be.
Got to play in the community orchard recently - proud of my work in the blueberry patch!
Went to a cool art museum and felt happy feelings.
My best friend rocked a job interview today! I’m so happy she’s thriving.
My 2 yr old girl told me I’m beautiful!
I just found out that a boy had liked me for years and he’s really cute.
My niece is 2 and said “Look, I playing drawing!” when we were doing art together.
My mum who has terminal cancer got her dream dress made! She looks so beautiful!
I GOT ENGAGED TO THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
My friend & I have a plot in our community garden. So fun to teach her abt gardening.
I opened up to my friends about needing support and I feel so loved by their reaction.
I got two important fellowships back to back and I feel so fulfilled in my career finally.
My elderly pet snake finally ate after about 2 months of refusing/ignoring food.
I advocated for myself and set a boundary with family!
I was laid off last Tuesday and yesterday I received a job offer from a better company.
I’m starting a garden with my mom :)
I got a good night’s sleep and awoke to the sun shining!
The Italian boy in my building I have a crush on just said he has a crush on me.
I’m a teacher and the school year is almost over.
All of my finals are super easy!!!
My daughter gleefully yelling affirmations before school.
I finally got a migraine diagnosis that makes sense from a wonderful + kind doctor.
I’m falling in love again and it’s so much fun and feels so safe and calm.
Today is the first day of my new full time job, I’m terrified but excited at the same time.
I’m going to a Lizzo concert tonight!!!
My partner and I just celebrated our first anniversary. He feels like home to me.
Taking care of a friend’s puppy and smile every 5 minutes.
Sad abt leaving work to go to grad school but thankful I’ve been somewhere that I’ll miss.
Coming out to my family & friends and they’re all being so lovely!
I MOVED OUT!
Lexapro has changed my life
<3 same <3
I can finally do a push up.
Feeling confident and energized about creating my own business and it feels so good!!
I spent time with my friends and their kids and my heart is full.
I spent the past two nights at a friend’s house and helped on her farm.
Finally started a bookstagram, and I get so happy every time I get a like or follow.
I finally live w my partner & love running to the door when he comes home from work to kiss.
xoxo,
your favorite becca
things that permanently live at the bottom of my posts:
Submit your secrets/sparkly moments here.
If you need help accessing abortion care, click here or here.
Grab a copy of my choose-your-own-adventure cookbook, Baking by Feel, here!