"my boyfriend and I got a puppy and I regret it 1000%"

not otie, this is someone else's secret

this seems pretty definitive - welcome fellow crankies

remember, in this context:

• secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.

• sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.

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loosely defined themes of the week: feeling left out, feeling yourself

secrets

play this while reading (I forgot about this banger for like 12 years!)

short & sweet/salty:

I don’t like my brother’s fiancee.

I’m travelling w my husband and 3 other couples (his friends) ; they actively exclude me and I am very lonely. My husband doesn’t seem to notice or care.

I’m in 40k credit card debt and I don’t think I’ll ever get out.

I have a crush on someone I shouldn’t. Trying to get their attention on IG is embarrassing.

I’m really hard on my body.

My partner of 5 years doesn’t want kids and I think I might after all…

My mom doesn’t care about my wedding and it hurts. We are close so I’m so confused.

I’m so lonely but so comfortable being lonely I push others away.

My fiance’s mom infantilizes him and I’m scared it’s going to ruin our wedding.

I think everyone sees me as a constant bummer/buzzkill.

I’m deeply in love and so scared I’ll mess it up.

long-form:

So I had this massive crush on a dude I volunteered with in college, and we were good friends, but I'm a pretty practising Muslim and didn't have the first clue on how to date. Anyways, one night he asked me over to dinner at his place. I was super excited, brought over fancy ginger ale in those individual glass bottles you have to pop open. He made us dinner, and afterwards we watched movies on his bed [he had a couch, we did not use it], and he took his shirt off. MY DEEPLY EMBARRASSED DEEPLY CRUSHING ass was like oh this is weird, is this how he is with all his friends?? he never said it was a date?? he doesn't like me like that right? I sat as far away from his as possible on that bed, and it took me ages afterwards to realize that was 100% a date and I totally fucked it up LOL

OK first of all: you did great! You brought the fancy ginger ale in the individual glass bottles!! This man-who-volunteers was 100% capable of dropping a “hey, I like you” before/during/after taking his shirt off. Also I really love this story.

i promise, we want to hear them.

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sparkles

play this while reading

short & sweet:

I’m adopting my first pet! A cat! As a single person it feels scary and exciting and like an exercise in hope.

I feel more like myself again after a year and a half of mild to severe depression

Bought my first insertable sex toy, tried it for the first time and kinda enjoyed it! (coming from a person who has pelvic pain and anxiety about sex)

I've finally accepted myself as gay and look forward to living more authentically and finding love.

I GOT THE JOB and I'm so happy to get away from my first job!

I'm turning 30 this year and, even though I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life, I'm still proud of how far I've come in my personal growth and how I haven't let any past hurt turn me into a person I'm not. Younger me would be so proud. <3

This last one!! I didn’t write it, but it’s so relatable that I feel I’m reading my own thoughts. I really love to see this emphasis on growth and healing, and making my younger self proud is one of my biggest joys/motivators too!

click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.

xoxo,

your favorite becca

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things that permanently live at the bottom of my posts:

Submit your secrets/sparkly moments here.

If you need help accessing abortion care, click here or here.

Grab a copy of my choose-your-own-adventure cookbook, Baking by Feel, here!