"March For Life? More like FML!"
Antis don't get to claim parenthood
The “March For Life” happened today (again). If you don’t know what it is, it’s when tens of thousands of almost exclusively white anti-abortion zealots descend on DC to terrorize people who have abortions while pretending to care about humanity. In commune with like-minded freaks. They reek of contrived moral superiority and don’t know how to use the metro.
I hate it. And I’m not going to keep typing out “March For Life” because it just pisses me off. So from here on out, it’s going to be abbreviated FML (it’s an anagram and I literally say fuck my life when I think about it, so). FML was founded in 1974 by Nellie Gray - one of the absolute least cool people to have ever existed - in response to Roe passing in 1973.
They have speakers, take up space on the national mall, and are extremely theatrical general menaces. Everything about FML sucks. But this post isn’t really about them - it’s about family. As we’re all acutely aware, Big Anti-Abortion likes to talk a lot about family. They make big claims about protecting babies (yeah right) and mothers (even more yeah right). When I was a teenager, the Westboro Baptist Church (an SPLC designated hate group) came to protest our high school. We had elected a gay homecoming king. I won’t waste much time on them - they’re evil and bigoted in every way imaginable - but I remember being struck by the absolute depravity of having small children stand in front, holding up signs that they probably couldn’t read, and certainly didn’t understand. They’re willing to literally put their children’s bodies on the line for their hatred. As shields? Pawns? Photo ops? I mean, who does that? Well, FML attendees do.
FML features a hodgepodge mix of people bussed in from around the country: religious leaders, self-aggrandizing college boys, TPUSA influencers, and parents with their kids. FML describes itself as an “inspiring, peaceful, vibrant, and joy-filled rally of women, men, young people, and children from all across the country” (emphasis my own). It’s hard to find solid numbers, but at least half of attendees are under 30.
Anecdotally, I have a family member who was brought to FML as a kid (note: they are abortion affirming as an adult!). They went to a Catholic school, so this was a school field trip. An out of town field trip. Who’s going to turn down an overnight trip with your friends? Your mom tells you it’s your job to help other kids. She tells you that there are people out here literally committing murder, and it’s your responsibility to swoop in. She hands you a hot dog and a sign that says something about god, possibly murder, possibly hell. Again, you’re 8 years old.
Here’s some toxic messages that might creep into your head:
You have a right to tell someone else what to do with their body. A responsibility to, even.
There will be severe consequences (social, physical, mental, and emotional) if you ever get pregnant and need an abortion
You can’t rely on your parent to support you no matter what
These parents privilege maintaining control over someone else’s hypothetical decisions over the immediate and longterm wellbeing of their own child. You know, the one standing next to them. This is objectively garbage bin parenting. I mean, who do they think they are? Anti-abortion control freaks don’t get to claim a monopoly on parenthood.
There’s a caricature of people who have abortions that goes something like: cold, selfish, hates children. In fact, the majority of people who have abortions are already parenting, and they know what’s best for them and their families. People who have abortions make wonderful parents. Not despite having abortions, but because of it. We know how to show up for ourselves, for our families, for our children. We know what we deserve, and we demand it. As a parent, I’m committed to doing what I can to make this place livable for my kid. Helping her figure out how to navigate the world is a crucial part of my job. I really wish I didn’t have to teach her about any of this.
Note: If you were brought to FML as a child, I’d love to hear about it.
love,
Becca
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