secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.
click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.
loosely defined themes of the week: confusion, the unknown, going for what you want
secrets
play this while reading
short & sweet/salty:
I feel like I’m failing at everything in life by waiting for the right time.
I broke up with my best friend and don’t miss her at all. I don’t feel like I owe her anything now.
My crush might be getting divorced and I feel like shit for hoping she comes to me after.
My job triggers me so much I faked a covid test to get a break.
I’ve been wearing my Invisalign 2 years longer than I should bc I just love how they feel.
OK I am actually shocked by this one!! I wore my retainers for approximately 3 weeks.
Trying to conceive and jealous my best friend just announced she’s pregnant on our friends group.
I’ve been drinking too much when I shouldn’t at all on my new anti-depressants.
I don’t enjoy spending time with my parents, but I do it anyways.
I think I might be pregnant.
I can’t stop planning a future with a guy who isn’t into me.
I don’t like dogs!
Supporting my bf’s mental health journey is exhausting but I feel bad venting about it.
My ex is now dating a bartender who works at my local bar.
I’m so nervous because so many things are going alright that they’ll fall apart soon.
Dating is really hard. So much emotional labor. Not sure it’s worth it.
I’m a freshman and scared about getting into a good college bc there’s nothing special about me.
There are many things that are special about you. And I promise that they don’t just have to be the kinds of things that look good on college applications!
I want to leave my job but I can’t find anything else that pays as well. I’m stuck.
I’m sad that I’m going to my safety school and moving to a city I don’t like for it.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this week, and the big C word is just so scary.
Solo traveling and it’s not nearly as fun as I thought it would be.
My ex and my friend started dating. I want to be happy for them bc they seem really happy but I’m upset.
You are under no obligation to be happy about this!
I’m dating someone and I really like him and he really likes me. But I still have anxiety about it.
I hooked up with my friend and laughed the entire time.
I am so unfulfilled in my dream job.
I ended things with my situationship and I regret it because he’s sad and so am I.
I get obsessed real easily and I’m always hurting my own feelings bc of it.
So relatable - I hurt my own feelings way more often than anyone else hurts them.
The older I get, the more I think I might have something mentally going on. I recently found out about stimming, but it's something I've been doing all my life (and hidden from people).
I got a promotion and I hate it. I am looking for new jobs already.
My abusive ex got a new girlfriend, meanwhile I just have PTSD.
I had my first appointment with an eating disorder dietitian yesterday and I lied even to her about the things I ate in a day.
I had a terrible first date and lost all excitement to try again with somebody else.
My 17 year old cat passed away over a week ago and I miss her terribly. I’d had her since middle school, so it’s been hard not having her here. Letting her go was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. :’(
I'm in a relationship that was supposed to be mutually short-term, but now that it's almost time for it to end I want to give up my career plan and move across the country to be with her. I feel like a bad feminist and also so sad.
secret/sparkle hybrid:
I'm planning on celebrating ME on my (rather complicated dynamic/ending, so for simplicity's sake we'll just say former partner) former partner's birthday this spring. I'm thinking a day off from work, go out for ice cream, go for a walk with my best friend, and just reclaim that joy in myself that I lost during that time. It's been a couple years since, but I think this is the first year that I'm feeling ready to reclaim something from that day. Never going to just be a day on the calendar, so might as well try to make something positive of it rather than just a reminder of memories :)
This is really beautiful. I love the way you’re celebrating yourself in the here and now while creating a tradition for future you to enjoy.
long-form:
I'm struggling with whether to go no contact with my sister because of how poorly she's treated me in the past and her current lack of accountability and self awareness, but I don't want to lose my relationship with my nephew. I don't see them much already, and I've been struggling with what to do since the holidays, my mom wants us to reconcile, but my sister doesn't even realize there's an obvious problem that I've spelled out for her.
sparkles
play this while reading
short & sweet:
My friend gave me the most inspiring pep talk when i needed it most.
My teacher (who is so intimidating/cool/smart) shared my work in class and had my classmates analyze it!! Finally feeling validated because this class has broken my brain and I’m always too scared to raise my hand.
One time an intimidating/cool/smart professor told me my paper contained graduate level analysis and it meant so much to me that I still think about it like four times a year. I’m so happy you got the validation you deserve.
I have achieved two career milestones in the last couple months and i'm so proud of myself!
My best friend just moved from another continent to a five minute walk from my house.
^This is it - the sparkliest one!
Got a job at a 3 michelin starred restaurant while I’m still in culinary school!
My and my partner looked at a place the other and it was nice to imagine our future.
Heading home from a lovely vacation with my husband! Really reaffirmed our love for each other.
Went paddle boarding today and didn’t fall!
I started my own therapy as a therapist and I’m so proud of me.
Bought a new 65 inch tv and so excited to watch so much reality tv.
Aced a presentation today that I was so nervous about.
Mermaid nail polish.
Just got approved for my 1st ever solo apartment, at 29. I am SO EXCITED.
We made homemade paczki and they were SO good. dropped them off with neighbors - love seeing someone's eyes light up when you give them a homemade box of treats.
baking by feel specific sparkles (a new category!):
I've always felt really insecure about my lack of baking ability, but i've started making recipes from cookbooks (incl. yours!) and i'm feeling so much better.
Made your lime olive oil cakes for my best friend’s birthday and they were a huge hit!!
I'm not a very confident baker, but I made the Maple Cookies from Baking By Feel and they turned out amazing! I'm so proud of myself.
This recipe is my personal favorite from the book! I’m so glad you like them <3. Note for my paid subscribers: keep your eye out for a post with the cookie recipe + emotion pairing later on this week!
