"I got my dream job and realized I don’t want it"
and other selected secrets/sparkles
Hi friends, thank you so much for being here! It means a lot to me. If you enjoy my writing, I’d love it if you’d share A Little Something Sweet with the people you love. I also invite you to upgrade to a paid subscription, which gives you access to my Rom Coms Revisited movie club, exclusive recipes, and other subscribers-only content. Your support of my work allows me to keep creating here and elsewhere. I’m so grateful, xoxo.
remember, in this context:
secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.
click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.
loosely defined themes of the week: x
secrets
short & sweet/salty:
I'm almost 30 and have never been in a relationship but am worried that it's too late and no one will want me. I want to experience love and the feeling of falling in love.
Coming off another 2-week dating disappointment. I just want to feel loved and respected and inspired and safe.
My ADHD is out of control. I have to read documents for work and they may as well be in Japanese. Not sure how I’m going to get through the next 4 months (boss just went on maternity leave).
I don’t like my best friend’s new partner.
My best friend and I are both in love with the same guy. Who is our third best friend.
Omg I’m going to need updates on this one
I regret moving away from my friends and family but can’t admit it whenever they ask how I’m doing.
Really excited to go home but don’t want to live with my parents again.
Struggling with intimacy in my relationship after depression and it feels so bad.
My ex liked me on a dating app and I’m going to like him back despite all of the advice.
I have such burning baby fever but my partner isn’t ready.
I’m a middle manager and every day I’m afraid my team hates me. I constantly want to start over.
My partner and I haven’t had sex in over a year. Idk what to do about it.
I strongly dislike my bfs dog and resent him for forcing me to live with one (we were pregnant).
I’m afraid I’m gonna end up alone because I’m too picky!
I haven’t filed my taxes in 12 years.
I’m in the early stages of a new relationship and I’m so excited and so afraid.
I don’t like my sister’s husband and they’ve been married for almost 10 years.
My roommate moved out and I miss her :(
In med school to become an obgyn but the news re repro rights makes me feel hopeless.
I miss my ex desperately, even tho everyone else in my life hates him.
I can’t let go of her (and I know it’s time, I’m a therapist myself…)
I day drank alone today instead of filling out job applications.
I’m in lust with my co-teacher…and his hot af wife!
I told my mom for the first time that I don’t want kids and she was not here for it.
I want my fiance to actively help w/ wedding planning. Feels like a bad cliche, I do it all.
My husband is away for a week and it feels sooo good.
I got rejected by someone I thought I had a connection with & I’m devastated.
I think I might want kids, but my partner doesn’t. Dreading the breakup after 5 years together.
We had our first couples therapy session and now it feels worse somehow.
My maternity leave is almost over and I’ve never felt such immense dread/anxiety.
I’m questioning my sexuality and I am so confused.
I resent my husband for his flex work sched allowing him more time w/ our baby than I get.
When I was a teenager my mom paid me to lose weight. I’m 30 and still have deep shame about it.
I worry I’ll never love a dog more than my current one. My blue heeler soul dog bb.
I’m 5w1d pregnant after a miscarriage in February.
I am so insecure about how I look right now and it’s making me sad that that’s the case.
I don’t feel safe in the state where I currently live. I’m stuck here another year for school.
I’m in the Peace Corps (which has always been my dream) and I hate it.
I finally accepted my queerness, but I know my Catholic family will never.
The person that gave me HSV texted me and apologized one year later. He ghosted me after.
Today marks 8 years since my dad died and no one but me cares.
I made out with my best friend and now I think I have a crush on him.
My husband said I could quit my job and be a SAHM. I did. Now he’s leaving.
I have $17 in my bank account and have been turning down plans by lying that I’m too busy :/
I’m pregnant and have helped 2 people on the What To Expect app access abortion care.
I love this - thank you for helping people access the care they need.
I just got fired.
Anxiety is holding me back from living my life & it’s exhausting.
My partner has had an engagement ring for me for a LONG time and I’m getting annoyed he hasn’t proposed.
I don’t know what job I would do well at. I don’t know if I’d be good at any.
My best friend started secretly dating my brother in law and I hate her for it.
I got a huge crush on a girl I just met in San Francisco who said she was “pretty sure” she’s straight. Ugh.
Hubs and I decided to open baby-making season and I’m excited and terrified at the same time.
I feel like my bf doesn’t value my time.
I get incredibly jealous when my friends have babies even though I already have one.
Everything my husband says feels like a personal attack.
I feel alone in not wanting children, at all. Everyone in my life has gone back on relating.
I still think about the affair I had almost a decade ago.
My friends have all been going through years of various difficulties. Some are self inflicted. It feels like a constant suck on my energy. I love them but I just kind of want to be left alone for a long while.
I have so little interest in sex, and it makes me feel defective. It's hard to balance how much my partner wants to with my total disinterest.
long-form:
Just got broken up with a week before I moved to my long-distance bf's city, and having to let go of all the little things I was excited for – randomly stopping by to say hi; meeting his daughter; making pasta together; gardening; trying new foods. Maybe it was the right decision (it was), but I'm still heartbroken letting go of all these little futures I envisioned.
Sending you love!
sparkles
short & sweet:
I had the BEST national park birthday trip with my girlfriend full of sex and adventure and I felt so uninhibited, I never knew I could feel so good in my body.
My mom moved cross country last year to be closer to me. She lives 5 minutes way now and it’s been wonderful. My hubby and all my friends love having her around as much as I do.
My film is premiering tonight.
Finally started speaking about my relationship with food in therapy.
Today is my business’ one year! Quit a full time “stable” job for this! So proud.
My bestie is sending me full spectrum CBD tinctures for my chronic pain! So generous.
I handmade a notebook under one of the last bookbinding masters in Japan. And now I’m going to fill it with my own sparkly moments so I can flip back when I’m sad.
<3 <3 <3
I think I saw a shooting star the other day while out on a nighttime walk! :)
My partner told me they love me for the first time <3
I start hiking the Appalachian trail on Sunday and I’m so excited I could scream.
I met D’Arcy Carden today and she told me I’m great.
I got to enjoy my daughter’s spring concert at school. She was in her element.
Snuggling w my dog after being at work ALLLL day!!! Missed him.
After being unemployed for months I have a 2nd interview at a really great place.
We’re getting a new kitten! I’m scared that my older cat won’t like her (kinda a sparkle?)
Writing poetry after a long day and re-discovering what I as a person represent.
Clients canceled this week and I actually get to enjoy some warm weather off work.
Got tickets to two different shows today for my favorite band!
Did a test run of my gluten free rollout cookie recipe and they baked up wonderfully!! Not dry!!
I’m almost done with grad school :’) It’s been the most challenging 2.5 years of my life.
I won an award!
My b of 2 yrs broke up w me (lived together), but I bought my 1st home by myself <1 month l8r.
Finally going on vacation to a beachy place.
I’m in the new relationship stage and I forgot how magic it is.
Law school graduation in 22 days. Did it sober & began recovering from 10 years of ED.
Tomorrow is my cats 11th birthday! I can’t wait to give him gifts & a special breakfast.
Last term of nursing school, capstone in Labor & Delivery. Finally saw a birth - INCREDIBLE!!!
Was asked to hang out by some co-workers I’m hoping to befriend!
My best friend is pregnant and she is going to be the most incredible mom ever <3
Went for a walk by the river and the weather was perfect.
My mom gives the best hugs.
Took 5 years to get pregnant and baby arrives in 2 weeks!
Went to a reading today and the crowd of lovely women made me very happy.
Watching my twin sister’s baby bump grow.
Made your peanut butter snickerdoodles and my coworkers LOVED them.
I can’t wait to marry my best friend.
Sometimes I really think i have the most incredible friends <3
Me and the bf are on our first major road trip, and it is off to a phenomenal start.
Got my period for the first time in 4 months #pcoslife
It’s my 27th birthday today!! And I cried and I feel myself the most today than I ever have.
Getting my first rescue cat next week! I love him so much already.
I made the decision to withdraw from grad school which is relieving.
Interviewing for my dream counseling job tomorrow.
I gave my two weeks notice for a job I’ve hated for the past year plus!!
Omg we are getting a puppy tomorrow.
I get to see my little brother tomorrow and my best friend on Saturday.
I just met with a transfer rep for the college I plan on transfer to and to hear that if I fail this specific class, my transfer won’t be rescinded brings me such relief. I’m so so happy that the world won’t crash and burn if I end up failing.
I GOT A 1500 ON MY SAT AND IM FREAKING OUT.
long-form:
This week I saw a man stop in his tracks to read poetry that was spray painted on a building. I also saw a woman walking who was clearly dancing along to her music. Everywhere I look it seems people are appreciating art and it feels so, so good to notice others’ wonderment. 2022 was bad for me mentally, so I’m proud of myself for seeing that others find life worthwhile because I’m getting better at noticing good role models out in the wild.
I’m proud of you too <3
xoxo,
your favorite becca
things that permanently live at the bottom of my posts:
Submit your secrets/sparkly moments here.
If you need help accessing abortion care, click here or here.
Grab a copy of my choose-your-own-adventure cookbook, Baking by Feel, here!