"I feel like no one really knows me, but I can’t even describe myself to myself"
& other anonymously submitted secrets and sparkles
remember, in this context:
secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.
click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.
loosely defined themes: Wedding bells, winners, we hate RFK Jr.
sparkles
My son is six and has so much more awareness and empathy than I did when I was his age. I'm ending the generational trauma cycle (so far) and I feel proud.
I bought a pack of abortion meds and put them in my drawer so I'm stocked if a homie needs them :) (I live in a deep red state)
I’ve had *fantastic* sex with someone I’m newly seeing. Like, wow.
Ordered my wedding dress.
I got in to my top grad school program :)
I wrote a script!!!
Being a twink is kinda dope, I love who I am now.
Officially have been studying abroad in England for 1 month! I want to move here :)
Adopted a kitten and it’s been therapeutic.
I’m healing from a breakup and doing a great job.
I applied for the job that will finally take me into the career I’ve been working towards!
Got married at City Hall this past weekend and it was perfect.
Getting a puppy soon after 8 months without my soul dog.
I think I’m in love with my bf and I feel so happy about it.
Spontaneously bought fish with my 5yo today and her joy is infectious.
I went to the gym today!
I just finished writing a play!!
Back to exercising 6 weeks post ectopic abortion surgery.
My husband is finally home from his work trip!
Did puppy yoga with my besties of 10+ years yesterday (highly recommend)
Vacation beach walk this morning w/ 4 y/o & digging for dino bones in the sand.
My version of dream wedding is happening. Despite my parents. Little me never thought <3
Applied to my first job after years of crippling anxiety and got it.
I completed a huge step to finish my PhD.
Haven’t had a drink in 2 weeks.
I feel so so incredibly safe for the first time in my life & it’s bc of my husband.
My ex hubby suddenly proposed to his new girl and it gets him off my dang nuts finally!!!
Made your orange creamsicle cake for my son’s 15th! He loved it!
Finally allowing myself to feel & express anger after a lifetime of suppressing emotions.
He did! He proposed, we’re getting hitched!
I’m 10 weeks with a very wanted pregnancy - keeping it secret til 40 weeks!
I only have 2 exams left before graduating and am writing my thesis and I am so happy after so long.
I started seeing somebody and I feel safe with them!!! And they actually like me lmaoooo.
My former street cat started sitting on my lap this week after a year as an indoor girlie!!!
My manager finally reported my work bully to HR!!! It’s not all in my head!
I’m going to nationals for congressional debate!! I’ll go against all states!!
7 month old baby giggles.
My bf of two months told me he loves me.
My baby turns 1 tomorrow and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come emotionally since then.
I’m 22 today! Happier, healthier, and more of myself than ever.
I was accepted into a leadership program through work.
I protested in DC yesterday - I went with my 70 yo aunt!
I have a job interview today that pays 20k more than I make now!!
secrets
I’m a federal employee who just found out they’re on a longer probationary period than what I was told from onboarding. Why? Because I was hired under a disability status for my recorded disability (GAD/ADHD). I supervise a team of five (mostly mediocre) people and their jobs are not at risk, but mine is. I feel hopeless about my future - in my career path, whether I can own a home, whether I can afford to be a parent like I hope to - because some billionaire fuckwit gets to decide if I’m worthy or not. I feel hopeless and enraged.
I love my husband so, so much. But I also have a crush on a hot co-worker. At least it’s not reciprocated.
I’m in love with my married coworker who is 20 years older than me.
I resent my mom for needing me to take care of her. She was an alcoholic most of my life, and even though she's been sober for five years, things are better. Now she needs help with recovery from normal aging things, I feel like she owes me a childhood so why am I expected to help her.
I’m having a hysterectomy and oophorectomy next week and I’m terrified.
I’m still upset with my how my parents handled my uncle’s end of life care.
I hate my life sometimes.
I’m throwing a party in 2 weeks and I’m so anxious no one will come or have fun. I’m so scared.
I don’t know how to feel “alive” it’s like I’m a bystander in my own life watching from outside.
My sister works at a crisis pregnancy center and I want to vom emoji every time I think about it.
I’m sad from a break w/ a partner and feel like friends are judging me.
I’m unhappily married. It’s not bad, it’s just not good.
I found out recently that my dad has lied about his finances for 30 years and idk how to feel.
I’ve had as many abortions as children. All decisions were the right decisions.
I like being single but I feel alone.
I’m terrified of what’s happening in our country and my anxiety is out of control.
I like being single but I feel alone.
Saw my therapist get out of her car, pro-life license plate & bumper sticker. Shame on her.*
*Note: This one is my villain origin story.
Got a verbal warning at my job - they think I’m incompetent. I’m just depressed.
I want to be more emotionally available for my kid than my parents were for me.
I’ve been in therapy for childhood sexual abuse and it’s so hard, but also helping.
My mom doesn’t know I met my biological dad. She doesn’t know I even know who he is.
I think my best friend/roommate is outgrowing me and I’m devastated.
I’m terrified that RFK Jr is going to ban my antidepressants.
Been unemployed for 2 years, now kid’s in kindergarten I’m supposed to go back but I DON’T want to.
I quietly left my old friend group because I couldn’t take their “jokes” towards me anymore.
I think I’m the other woman.
If my toxic ex asked for my back I would get back with him.
I think I’m a lesbian in a 9 year relationship with a man and I just realized. I’m terrified.
I’m quietly quitting my relationship.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t tell if I’m just extra sensitive or if people are treating me poorly.
I’m jealous of the attention my bf gives the kids he has with his ex wife.
PhD qual exam next week. If I pass, I’ll feel like an imposter. I have no career plans if I fail tho.
I’m ready to come out as a lesbian.
I’m beginning to think I will spend this entire life alone. And who knows if there’s another?
Sometimes I wanna sucker punch my mother in law so bad.
I have never felt so terrified for the future as I do now. Political, personal, and career wise.
I’m saving to leave my cheating partner (he doesn’t know that I know he’s cheating).
I have these bad visions lately that my husband and I have to flee the US with our two cats.
I will die if RFK takes away my anxiety meds.
We broke up 4 years ago and I still miss my ex and I’m angry about it.
I think I’ve crossed the threshold from disagreeing with to hating my oldest friend.
My mental illness ruined the romance of valentines weekend with my expectations.
4 months postpartum and it feels like my relationship is over.
I wanna leave this country but feel like I’m giving up if I do.
I’m starting to hate my parents b/c politics. They’re so red.
I love a boy. He doesn’t love me.
I stopped breastfeeding, it hurts so much since I’m preggo again. Feel like I’m failing first born.
I want to propose to my girlfriend but can’t because we’re too young.
I’m purposefully screwing my incompetent boss over in a months time.
I think I was in an abusive relationship for the last six years. I still find myself missing.
A coworker I slept with one time 3+ years ago says he appreciates my friendship but doesn't even try to hang out. I should see him as a jerk but I can't shake the feeling we would have been perfect.
I think I’m beginning to hate my fiance before our marriage even starts.
Love,
Becca