"Having a summer filled with friendship that feels almost unreal in its loveliness"
and other selected secrets/sparkles
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remember, in this context:
secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.
click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.
loosely defined themes of the week: the power and beauty of friendship, complicated living dynamics, money management
secrets
short & sweet/salty:
I had a total meltdown on my birthday and my boyfriend was so patient and kind with me and now I’m so embarrassed by how I acted.
Still follow my ex on social media and saw he’s dating the girl he “definitely wasn’t into” while we were dating.
I reeaaally hope my mom doesn’t hear my vibrator at night.
Just found out I’m pregnant!
I have a huge crush on my friend of 5+ years.
Finished reading Eat Pray Love & I just thought the author was whiny and annoying. The way she talks about antidepressants is rude. Not sure why people loved it.
I babysat for my friends kid and she didn’t pay me and I don’t know how to bring it up.
2 close friends of mine didn’t greet me for my bday so I’m actually very upset with them.
I was wrongfully fired a month ago. Now my life is down a drain.
Doc gave me meds for treatment resistant depression. They don’t work either.
I’m worried my girlfriend and I won’t make it.
My therapist closed her practice. I’m dreading looking for a new one.
34, living with family, not earning enough doing what I love, believe my ex is my soulmate & happy.
I hate my BIL’s partner and it’s making me dislike him too. I’m scared for our family dynamic.
Broke up with my so of 4 years and feeling lost, sad, and relieved.
I just moved and I’m disheartened about how much stuff I have. Overwhelmed.
I have a crush on one of my employees.
I’m so grateful for both my partners & sometimes I miss monogamy.
I’m constantly anxious about being pregnant when there’s no way I would be.
Constantly overwhelmed. Constantly broke.
I know I’m meant for this, but the homophobes have worn me down & I want to give up.
I love my extended family but they’re exhausting and I dread events.
I’m not sure if I want a kid anymore.
I slept with a married man bc I like the attention he gives me.
I don’t know how to get over my fear of intimacy.
Love my new hubs but also have rly invasive feelings that this is wrong.
I want to quit my job but I can’t because I failed my LMHC exam. I feel trapped.
I’m falling for this girl but I’m scared to kiss her.
I don’t know if I will ever really test myself when it comes to sex or dating.
I feel like I’m the only person who can’t figure out how to keep my house clean.
I don’t think me and my partner are compatible.
Facing that my bf of 6 years and I don’t want the same things and I’ve never felt worse.
I make good $$ but have a hard time managing it.
Found out my crush is 13 years older than me…still wanna go out tho.
I’m 27 and never been kissed (and lie about it frequently).
I think I’m outgrowing my friends.
I have to retake a course for the third time (stats). I feel embarrassed and stupid.
Seriously think I want to separate from my spouse.
I got engaged last night.
I want to move in with my bf in another state but it would be such a big change!!
Cousin just got engaged - so happy for him but so so sad I’m the last one alone in the fam.
I was so relieved to no longer be unemployed but this new job is toxic and I’m afraid to quit.
I’m worried I won’t be able to find a job I like.
Was finally diagnosed with ADHD after suspecting I might have had it for years. I am finally realizing that my “forgetfulness” and “laziness” throughout my childhood and early adult life weren’t my fault. I finally feel validated and seen.
A friend made a move on me and I know I don’t want casual sex but it’s so tempting.
Probs can’t go to grad school now that student loans aren’t forgiven and I’m devastated.
Got dumped by the man I thought I was going to marry & it kills me that he’s not as sad.
Juggling mental illness and a full time job and constantly worried I’m not good enough.
I want to be a stay at home mom forever and regret getting my masters degree.
Diagnosed me with depression & it’s been sooo hard. As a guy we are supposed to be strong.
There’s so much pressure to be close to your sister but we are fundamentally so diff. If she was a friend I would not be close to her, or maybe cut her out completely.
My bf and I haven’t had sex in 8 months & I’m spiraling because of it.
I’ve lied a lot to everyone about my educational qualifications & work, don’t know how to come clean.
I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from my eating disorder.
I’m breaking up with my bf soon.
Got the dream job and raise and it’s TOUGH to break out of money anxiety habits.
I’m moving across the country in a month and a half and I have nothing figured out!!!!
Can’t stop fantasizing about Ari Melber. So smart, so sexy…
Waiting to complete on buying a house. I can’t wait to move out of my mum’s. It’s toxic here.
When I really think about it I can’t picture being a mom and I’m afraid to tell my husband.
I try so hard to enjoy being independent but all I want is to be partnered.
I’m secretly moving out of my parents house and not planning on telling them til after I’m out.
I’m going on back to back dates tomorrow. The dry spell seems to be over.
My therapist told me I’m depressed and it made me feel so much relief that I’m not crazy.
My relationship is destroying me but I feel I cannot get out.
Only a few people know I do SW. I can’t talk about it. Constantly afraid of doxxing.
I want to get divorced.
I’m so afraid of telling my friend/coworker I’m gay because I’m also in love with her.
I wish he ate me out more.
I feel like my husband is more interested in holding our baby in front of other people.
My judgmental parents are in town and I’m trying to get out of seeing them.
I was just offered a big career opportunity and my anxiety is telling me it’s a trap.
We want bb #2 but I’m worried it would create too much pressure/stress for my hubs.
I feel like nobody truly loves my messy self. They only want my smart/competent side.
Every time my bf talks about moving soon I’m disappointed that I didn’t break up with him.
I broke up with my boyfriend last night. I’m terrified it might make me homeless.
Kinda concerned that memory problems make me worse at empathy/caring abt others.
Terrified about telling my friend I like her and that it’ll ruin everything.
We have to give our dog up and I’m heartbroken.
My toddler and my newborn are in a season where they prefer me to dad. It’s exhausting.
Idk if my lack of libido is my husband or my birth control.
I haven’t told the guy I’ve started dating that I’m also talking to another woman.
I’m severely ill, dependent on my partner. He is abusive. Fam think he’s a saint. I hate him.
My trichotillmania (anxious hair pulling) has been bad lately. I feel like hiding from everyone.
I have this too! Sending you love <3
I have just been diagnosed with ADHD and I am so relieved.
I fantasize about my boyfriend while my husband fucks me.
I’ve never been in a loving & intense relationship like this but can’t get out of my head my ex.
My partner said I’m exploiting their niceness, so now I’m coasting in our relationship.
Back from vacation and dreading returning to real life responsibilities.
My bf fell asleep on the couch last night and never came to bed. It was awesome and I slept well for once.
I’m about to break up with my bf of 2 yrs and move to a different state to pursue my dream job.
I’m terrified to give birth not because of the pain but because I could lose our baby.
I’ve been flirting with a milf from work.
My mom died recently, and I’m more relieved than sad.
I’m just trying to be okay.
I associate my self worth with my grades and it’s ruining my emotional and mental state.
I hate working so much.
I’m so unhappy at my job but have no education to get a better one & it is depressing me.
Every year I feel guiltier about moving abroad and leaving my family behind.
My friend of 10 years has been ruined by us living together, she even unfollowed me.
Roomie repeatedly stabbed me in the back & thinks I don’t know. Lease is til March.
I’m applying to go back to school and don’t want to tell anyone in case I don’t get in.
Yesterday I broke up w/ an emo unavailable man but I still hope he will get there in the future.
I’m dating someone new but idk if I’m over my ex (we broke up in October last year).
I am bisexual but am not ready to tell anyone.
I’ve never been more lonely in my life than I am right now.
I am so excited about a uni opportunity I was offered but no one in my life really gets it.
I’m almost 30 and I don’t know what to do with myself professionally. It’s so scary.
The Rx dulled the sui urge but the grief persists.
I know deep down, everything will be alright.
I think I’m falling for someone who’s even more toxic than my ex.
Almost all of my friends are partnered, and I wonder if I waited too long to find my own person.
I can’t stand my brothers girlfriend.
Deeply regretting turning down an ex a few months ago and now feel there’s no going back.
I’m in love with my best friend.
We are pregnant and haven’t told anyone!
I decided to go to community college even though I’ve already committed to a 4-year.
Contributing less financially postpartum and wonder if my husband resents me.
I’m jealous of my partner’s ex because she’s skinnier, blonde, and societally prettier.
Everyone expects me to be the therapist for the family drama and I’m sick of it.
Broke up w/ my partner but we have too many plans this month to tell anyone yet. No one even suspects it.
I still like him but I will get over him.
I tried coming out to my mom and I don’t think she believed me, it’s really messing with me.
I love working with kids more than working with adults.
My mom had an apartment built for me and I hate it.
I don’t wanna go to college.
I love my friends but I feel alone in life.
Been super randomly emotional today and don’t know why.
Got in an argument with a bigot abt fridays SCOTUS decision. why can’t they understand logic.
Making some huge changes that don’t even feel real. I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I am so unhappy in my relationship but terrified to leave, losing self respect.
Anxiety meds caused weight gain. I know it shouldn’t matter but I’m struggling.
I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer but SCOTUS makes me wonder if there’s a point.
Realizing I might never fully get over my ex and that scares me. I want to. I hope I do.
My mom drives me crazy but I have to live at home rn & I’m grateful but also so frustrated.
Just heard people in HS always thought I was hot & my self esteem did a 180 (I’m 45).
I’m putting off telling my therapist I don’t want to work together because I’m nervous.
I don’t care about recovering from my ed. It feels like I won’t ever make it to recovery atp.
I wonder if the amount of fighting me and my husband do is normal or toxic.
I want out but I don’t see a way.
It’s so hard to see my ex now do the things I always wanted him to do when we were together.
I am so deeply ashamed of my credit card debt.
I’m not over my ex and it’s really eating at my mental health in a negative way :(
I feel at peace with myself after leaving a 6 year relationship.
I have a huge crush on one of the doctors at work.
I start a new job next week and I am terrified.
I have an enormous crush on my 51 year old manager.
Moved back in with my parents and it’s not as bad as I thought.
My sister-in-law got pregnant before me and I’m both so excited and so jealous.
long-form:
To the person who replied to my post about being ace and sex: Thank you so much, it really meant a lot. Hearing other ace people‘s experiences is so reassuring. I know orgasms aren’t the end goal, but it’s a fear that plays into and fuels my anxieties. My partner has been wonderful in understanding my issues so far so I don’t think it would be a problem, but I don’t want him to end up feeling like he’s not good enough.
sparkles
short & sweet:
I saw some old friends for the first time in a decade and it was wonderful!
Temporarily in love with a guy I met in an elevator on my birthday!!!!!!
Just bought our very first home after looking for almost two years.
I finally fully committed to my small business dream after getting laid off.
Seeing the generosity of people buying items from my wedding registry…it’s unreal.
Got to hold hands and kiss the most beautiful girl openly today and I’m so happy.
I got Sydney Taylor Swift tickets for me and my lil sister.
On my way to Paris!
Found out my sister is pregnant tonight!!
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, working on what was my favourite tv show as a kid!
I got to see Harry Styles live in concert!
Called an ambulance for a new friend with severe Covid and he’s out of the hospital and better.
I released my first wine brand two months ago, and people are loving it.
My dogs are getting a yard on Monday and I can’t handle the excitement. Life changing.
Jumped in Lake Michigan today and feel so happy!
My beautiful grandma died peacefully at home tonight at 91yo. I proudly carry her on.
I just got a new kitten! Her name is Piper!
My boyfriend and I are about to tour what is potentially our first apartment together.
Went on a really fun first date tonight :)
Told my partner I love him.
My mom closed on her new house today! & 3 of my friends dropped in to help clean.
Get to see some friends this weekend, we haven’t all been together since before Covid!
Just moved in with my partner (for the first time ever!) feeling so peaceful and loved.
My dad died last Wednesday and people have been so kind.
Met my friend’s core friend group for the first time and we all hit it off.
I am finally starting to love my body.
I’m leaving on my first tour tomorrow.
Sat by the river and read for three hours today, perfect relaxing day off for a chef.
I quit my toxic job!!
I marry my fiance in one month and one week.
I’ve decided to quit my job and stay home with my kid and I feel very very happy about it.
Holding my 6yo close while watching fireworks.
35 weeks preg after 6 miscarriages. Starting to believe we might get our rainbow.
My boyfriend and I leave for a road trip in 2 DAYS!!
I was so anxious to call a potential roommate but we chatted for 45 mins easily!!
After having a baby right before Covid, I’m traveling again! 4 trips this year.
Just booked a flight to London with my best friend for Dec and I couldn’t be more excited!!!
My partner and I adopted our first pet together today - a tiny, perfect kitten.
Visiting my parents who live thousands of miles away - can’t get enough time with them.
Started feeling like I actually wanted another person around for the first time in a very long time.
My ADHD meds are actually working!
I got engaged this week!!!!!
On my honeymoon with my HUSBAND (weird but so exciting).
Reading the latest The Bad Guys with my reluctant reader. Hard laughs to hiccups.
My experiment worked today….and as a new grad student I can’t tell u how exciting this is!!
I’m taking a two week vacation and had enough pto to cover it all.
I proposed to my partner this weekend and they said yes.
Going to my second eras show and so excited.
Got cosmetic dental work for something that has bothered me for years & I’m thrilled.
Meeting up with a friend soon who I haven’t seen since 2019!
I finally started to meet people in my new city.
Had the most incredible beach day with my fiancee. It’s our happy place.
Just found out baby #2 is a girl and dreaming of sweet sister bonds.
Went driving and watched fireworks with my crush.
I’m just 6 weeks from finishing my internship for a masters degree I started in 2020!
Every time my husband and I go on a date, we wend up talking abt how lucky/in love we are.
Just got new migraine meds and THEY WORK!! Last 4 years have been misery!
I started my residency in pediatrics and I’m feeling so proud of how far I’ve come!!
Just emailed a therapist for the first time for a consult.
18 weeks pregnant after having 3 reoccuring miscarriages.
I have tapered off my antidepressants & feel sooo happy! Even w/ the withdrawal.
The picture of cinnamon buns inspired me to bake cinnamon buns lol.
My partner took off from work so he could go on a trip for me to run a marathon. Feeling all the <3.
It’s my birthday and I’m getting all the free goodies!
I had a date last night. I think it actually went well!
Just cut 15 inches off my hair! Feeling light and easy breezy for summer!
Getting there little by little after the most eye-opening time of my life.
After a lifetime of mismatch, I splurged on a fancy pink bedsheet set int he sale!
My mom is getting married in 2 weeks to a man who lets her be her (big personality) whom we all like :)
Brought my boyfriend on family vacation and he made it 1000x more tolerable.
My wife and I are having a Foot Day tomorrow - pedicures and a trip to the foot spa.
A magpie sang to me under the full moon yesterday morning on my walk to the train.
Bf met my friends for the first time and played with their kids. It was absolutely adorable.
Hot salesperson winked at me while I was asking about their return policy so I’m flustered.
Spent the last few weeks helping out friends in need & it feels great to be useful and supportive.
I feel like I am actually making progress in therapy!
I bought some disco ball planters for my room and they’re so cute.
One of my favourite writers replied to me and confirmed something as canon in the story.
My therapist told me that he sees that I’ve been really resilient.
I have a huge crush on a girl and she likes me back :)
My fiancee told me to never stop being myself in job interviews <3.
I made gyoza and they were delicious! I am so proud of myself.
My bf and I bought our first piece of furniture together. A beautiful castlery sectional.
I love my new tattoo.
xoxo,
your favorite becca
things that permanently live at the bottom of my posts:
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