commodified passion

is it possible to maintain your joy while making it work under capitalism?

Jun 20, 2023

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens when we turn sources of joy into work.

As y’all know, I love talking about my feelings. I really love writing delicious recipes (especially cookies). And I really, really love helping people feel supported in their abortions. It was my dream to make these things into a career. And I’m out here doing my best - however patchwork and unstable it can be. I’m incredibly honored to turn things I love into something out in the world.

But there’s a piece I didn’t really think about much: when you make something your job, it inevitably turns into something else. There’s a whole new set of factors when you’re trying to make something your livelihood. Instead of focusing on the creativity and inherent worth of it all, you’re figuring out how to make it fit into the framework of capitalism. After all, capitalism has a very specific idea of what’s valuable, and what’s not. What’s real work, and what’s not. The focus shifts to how do I make it stand out, how do I brand it, and most of all - how do I sell it? And success or failure becomes deeply personal.

In my case, baking used to be my favorite hobby - one that I could use to express myself creatively. I genuinely love playing with flavors and textures, whether it’s my recipe or someone else’s. I love the smell that fills my house, the peace that comes from getting in the baking zone (if you’ve ever spent half an hour 100% focused on rolling cookie dough into balls, you’ll know what I mean), the aesthetic of a full cookie jar when someone comes to my house. I get so much satisfaction out of creating something I’m proud of, just for the sake of it. I really miss that.

I (obviously) don’t have a solution to the whole surviving under capitalism thing, but I don’t mean this to be all doom and gloom! I’m committed to cultivating the magic again, regardless of the livelihood piece. So, I’ve been working on creating better boundaries between what’s for work and what’s just for me. Note: if y’all have any strategies for this, I’d love to hear them!

To start, I’ve been intentionally baking for enjoyment again (ahem: just for enjoyment). Last week I made these thick & chewy peanut butter cookies. And I really focused in on the experience: measuring out the ingredients, rolling the dough in the sparkling granulated sugar, creating a pattern with the tines of a fork, admiring the aesthetic of my beloved Great Jones pink baking sheet/cooling rack combo. The (happy) result: I truly enjoyed it!

some notable (and less notable) things

I’ve been alerted that watermelon topped with fresh lime zest is the thing to eat right now.
Via apiaryps on IG:
I’m knitting a blanket for the babe (side benefit: it’s helping me scroll on my phone less!)
If you’re looking for an excellent artisanal chocolate bar, I suggest anything from Potomac Chocolate (my credentials: I used to work for a chocolate company!)
Me and Rhys’ parenting goals (from Neighbors 2, an excellent movie):
especially the portable fan

weekly abortion affirmation

Your abortion story is yours, to share or not.

a baking tip

Cookie scoops!! Many recipes call for 1 tablespoon of dough/2 tablespoons of dough/etc., and cookie scoops make it much easier to measure it out quickly and evenly.