"after a brief convo about the Barbie movie, my partner thinks the patriarchy is an ‘exaggerated issue’"

and other selected secrets/sparkles

Aug 03, 2023

Hi friends, thank you so much for being here! It means a lot to me. If you enjoy my writing, I’d love it if you’d share A Little Something Sweet with the people you love. I also invite you to upgrade to a paid subscription, which gives you access to my Rom Coms Revisited movie club, exclusive recipes, and other subscribers-only content. Your support of my work allows me to keep creating here and elsewhere. I’m so grateful, xoxo.

remember, in this context:

secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.

click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.

loosely defined themes of the week: new friends, in-law probs, rekindling high school crushes

*cw in secrets section: sexual violence

secrets

short & sweet/salty:

My aunt drunkenly told me she hates my mom. they’re sisters — but super different. i’ve always kinda known but this was the first time she’s ever said it. it’s hard keeping this secret
I’m so emotionally exhausted from keeping everyone else around me afloat.
I’m being ghosted after one year of dating and I’m scared of dating again.
I teeter between disliking and loving my dream job and it can be exhausting.
I just got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I’m afraid to tell my friends.
I was groomed from a young age and I still feel like it was my fault because I didn’t say no.

It definitely, absolutely wasn’t.

I’m worried my parents are going to get a divorce. Or worried they’ll stay together and keep fighting.
It feels like my mother will only value me if I have children. I might not be able to.
I got diagnosed with autism at 35 and I feel like my parents don’t care.
I’m a teacher and scared to go back to work. I’m a mom now and worry for my kids + me.
Wife is taking to polyamory too fast for me & I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone bc I’m scared they’ll judge.
Everyday I wish I could just start over and never talk to anyone I know again.
My husband is an alcoholic and I don’t know what to do.
I’ve given up on the idea of finding love and I am at peace.
I worked so hard to get into medical school, now I can’t admit I don’t want to go.
I had my baby 3 weeks ago and am struggling with feeling connected to him.
I’m bisexual.
I want to end my engagement.
My rapist just had a son and that scares me.
I love my husband but I don’t think I can stay if he doesn’t get some f*cking therapy.
I’m so sick of how women’s health is treated - no one cares about my repeat ovarian cysts.
I haven’t spoken to my parents in over a year. When people ask how they are I say “fine I think”.
I had an abortion and I’m proud of it.
I want to transfer colleges to be near my boyfriend but I’m worried it’s a bad idea.
I don’t think I want to do my job anymore but I’m terrified I won’t be able to do anything else.
I’m starting a friends with benefits thing and I’m relieved without the pressure of “dating”.
It sounds like total bullshit because I’m so young, but I swear my boyfriend is the one.
I don’t spend much time w my mom because I can’t watch my sibling verbally abuse her.
I’m convinced my family doesn’t do family photos because they don’t like how I look.
I am genuinely terrified that my bf and I might break up from recent fights.
I moved in with my boyfriend and immediately got the ick :(
13 yrs ago I found out my mom was having an affair and told nobody after confronting her.
I’ve been talking to my therapist about my dad because he’s caused so much anxiety and trauma.
My dad has had issues with alcohol and every time he drinks it makes me anxious.
I don’t tell people I’m estranged from my family cuz I’m worried people will think I’m strange.
I’m struggling to learn how to date after being in two long relationships back to back.
I’ve been downplaying how scared I am of my maternal fetal medicine referral.
I have a crush on a girl for the first time and I can’t tell if we’re just friends who are also gay.
I think my boyfriend is abusive and I’m having a hard time coming to grips with that.
I’m estranged from my sisters. Very much a good thing. Protect your peace.
In love with my best friend and my boyfriend doesn’t dream about it.
My partner + I had amazing sex on the beach middle of night + I can’t stop thinkin about it.
My only friends doesn’t accept me for being an autistic lesbian :(
I’ve been waiting for the day when I see this box and I can say we’re finally pregnant.
Moved 10 hours from home and think I hate it here already. I don’t want to admit that to anyone.
I regularly dream about sleeping with my boss and secretly hope it happens irl.
I am very disappointed in the relationship I have with my in-laws.
I’m extremely codependent with my bf and dog.
Sex with my new girlfriend is so much better and more intimate than sex with my wife has ever been.
I think I struggle with addiction but am too embarrassed to ask for help.
Newly no contact w/ dad Zelle’d me $ for my bday, so I donated it to planned parenthood in his name. Can’t accept that man’s money and it would make him so mad.
I love and miss someone that is currently blocked.
I told all my exes that I liked their shitty art.

Ugh I love this.

I’m so madly in love and I can’t think of anything else but him. Can’t focus on my exam.
Newly pregnant, excited but a tiny part of me is like oh god what have I done…
Love my life but I still wish I could run away with the circus.
I had a crush on my female best friend our senior year of high school and I never told her.
I believe my partner and I will have to split at some point bc now he thinks he wants kids in the future.
I’m pregnant (on purpose!) but so sick that sometimes I don’t want to be anymore.
I nearly had an affair but ended it before anything happened. I miss him a lot.
I’m not the bestie of the friend I wanna be besties with :(
First queer relationship ended & she wants to get back together but idk how we can.
I’m planning to leave my son’s father. Baby is only 3mo but I can’t do it anymore.
I think my bf has more of a substance problem than he wants to admit & idk what to do.
I’m having great sex with beautiful men and my husband is totally happy about it.
On bad days I still blame myself for being abused as a child.
My friends boyfriend SUCKS but she just won’t leave him :/
My husband told me he has feelings for my best friend.
I have a platonic life partner & it’s tricky to navigate/hard to find similar lifestyle peeps.
I feel like I have no real friends except 1. I love her but do I need more?
I turned thirty and my dad finally apologised. I don’t know what to do next.
My in-laws cause me so much anxiety that I secretly wish we lived in another country.
Almost got raped today and can’t even trust anyone with it.
Close friend is moving this week, I’m stuffing emotions around it. I’m a therapist.
Husband wants kids but I’m scared that I would be a bad parent.
I cannot wait to break up with my boyfriend because I am so unhappy.
I agreed to a one night stand but now I want more.
I don’t know if I actually love my job or if I’m just trying to convince myself I do.
Learned this weekend my husband had an affair.
It pains me how much my sister lets her husband be so mean to my mother and I.
My friend didn’t tell me she is engaged and I don’t know why.
I’m trying to be anti-diet culture but damn, it does get to me sometimes.
1 of my best friends stopped being my friend b/c I didn’t do enough for her one time.
My bf and I plan to get married this year - no one knows and it will be just us.
I kind of wish I never got married.
I moved to a big city a few years ago but now I think I want to go back home.
I sent an aggressive voice memo to the guy who fucked me over and then I blocked him.
I was ready to move across the country for my partner & now he’s not ready to commit.
My mom is helping me buy a car but I still don’t have a job or know how I’m paying rent.
I want to quit my job to read, word out, and eat good food. No stress, just joy.
My bf and I are planning to get engaged soon and I snooped and found the ring.
I wish my boyfriend would propose soon!!!
I miss being held to sleep at night, and being kissed in the morning.
I broke up with a best friend of a decade. And I feel so free.
My husband tried cocaine for the first time without telling me, but it kind of turned me on.
Feel childishly upset that no one in my life made an effort for my bday.
I still miss my ex and it’s been almost a year since we broke up…feeling lost.
Might have a crush on my best friend who is also my ex.
Scared my mom isn’t interested in my wife’s pregnancy (will be first grandchild).
Told a guy I didn’t want to be with him, he asked why and then didn’t like my answer so he blocked me :)
My friends don’t like my bf.
My fiance canceled our wedding and now he’s struggling without me.
I finally told my Grandboss that my boss is a bullying jerk.
I realised I’m romantically interested in my old HS friend but too scared to reach out.
I said yes to a proposal I don’t think I can go through with.
Out second IUI failed. I thought it had worked.
I’m realizing the church I grew up in caused more of my anxiety than anything else.
Really struggling to figure out who I am post-college.
I ended a toxic friendship, and though I miss her, I feel so free.
I’m terrified of starting therapy again, but I really fucking need it.
My ex texted me after 3 yr not speaking & I feel bad bc I have no desire to be in touch.
I want a second baby but we can’t afford it.
I’m from a different country and I’m really tired of living in USA.
I have an unrequited crush & I don’t actually want tog et over it even though I know I should.
At 40 finally figured out what I want to do with my life & didn’t expect the fear to be so strong.
The real reason I won’t have kids with my husband is bc I will get stuck with all the work.
Healing is so fkn hard!! It’s taking me a long time but I’m hoping it’s worth it.
My husbands cousin asked him why we aren’t pregnant. She has an 8 week old. I hateher.
I used to be very close to one of my girl friends. Now I can’t stand her because I found out she’s a bully.
I’m extremely horny but I’m afraid to have sex bc I am afraid I’ll get pregnant and be a bad mother.
I don’t think I’ll ever be happy at any job and it makes me very sad.
I don’t want to leave my baby and go back to work at the end of the parental leave.
I am really jealous of my good friend’s great partner.
I’ve recently gone no contact with someone and I’m acting like it doesn’t hurt but it does.
Might pass up a dream job bc it pays so much less and I have student loans to think about.
I think I’m going to break up with my partner in couples therapy tomorrow.
I’m moving out to a new country by myself in a month and I’m scared it will be horrible.
I made your gooey butter bars even tho I knew it would hurt my stomach. worth it.
I’m falling for him ahhh. I don’t know if I’m ready for someone new, but he feels ‘right’.
I think I’m a lesbian.
I hate my best friend’s fiance (he is verbally abusive to her).
I just got to Italy for vacation and I already want to go home.
I saw my ex that got me pregnant yesterday (we chose abortion). I felt nothing.
I’m finally beginning to microdose to treat my cptsd and I’m feeling hopeful.
My sis-in-law almost tripped my bro-in-law in the aisle at sis’s wedding since BIL bullied me at rehearsal.
I’m moving and it feels like some of my closest friends don’t care enough to say goodbye.
We want bb #2 but I wish it didn’t have to come at the cost of my career.
My BFF became my accidental roommate after a DV situation and now I resent her.
I hate my life.
I have my dream job but can’t find motivation to do it so for now I am just pretending.
Feeling very depressed about being back from vacation and nervous about what that says about my life.
I didn’t have that love at first sight feeling with either of my babies, took a couple months.
I hate my mom.
I cheated on my partner our 1st year of marriage. We still made it tho. Just had our 9th anni.
My parents had a night-out and I immediately invited a boy over lol.
Went on a date with my customer boyfriend wasn’t sure how it went but he came in to see me again!
I start therapy on Tuesday and I’m nervous but also excited.
I’m pregnant and my baby will be born with an illness. If it will make it so far.
My partner’s needs always come before mine. Feeling lost.
I keep trying to break up with my boyfriend and can’t seem to get the words out.
I’m lonely.
This summer has really bummed me out.
I wish I had played Barbies with my sister more when she was little.
My MIL found out her dad is actually her uncle and her uncle is her biological father.
My bf and I just started long distance and I’m scared asf.
My BIL is dating my friend and I think she enables his worsening mental illness.
I’m dating an old friend and he annoys the shit outta me, but I don’t wanna break his heart.
I’m dreaming my roommate moving in, living alone is so nice.
I’m tired of walking on eggshells around my family.
Found out my soon to be ex boyfriend is cheating tonight & I’ve just found out I’m pregnant.
I went on my first date in six years and told no one. It didn’t work out, and now I don’t have to tell everyone.
I’m filing for sole custody of my kiddo and nervous that I won’t win.
I check my ex’s recently played artists on Spotify to see what his vibe is sometimes :/
I’m in love with the girl I’m talking to and I Just really hope she feels the same way.
I’m depressed and I don’t want to tell my friends because I don’t want to burden them.
Seriously beginning to fear that my mind is just straight up broken.
My dad yells at me every time we talk but says I’m the reason we don’t have a relationship.
I went to my exes’ house to cheat on my now husband (bf at time) and couldn’t. I realized he’s the one.
I hate my husband’s bff + wife. Now he’s their baby’s godfather.
My dad is wealthy, but won’t support me in college. I’m scared about debt. I feel like I’m still a kid.
I don’t want to be friends with my best friends anymore.
I’ve had so much random bad stuff happen to me lately, I’m starting to think I deserve it.
Lost my virginity to a stranger I met at the club and it seemed like it was his first time too lmao.

long-form:

I thought I’m lesbian for the last 5 years, but I made out in public with my 20 years older male surf coach at the beach last night, and I’m very confused and probably back to being bi, even tho I don’t really wanna date men at all?! What’s even wrong with me?
I had a crush on a guy & I was brave enough to tell him & he said he’d rather stay friends and that actually made me realize how much I love myself? Like it didn’t impact my self worth at all or make me feel sad about being single, even though I’m a little sad he doesn’t like me the same way! I just feel happy to still be friends with him & happy to like being myself so much! It’s a weirdly good feeling?

This is beautiful <3

sparkles

short & sweet:

My best friends and I all get to travel together for the first time in seven years this August!
Visiting my boyfriend’s childhood home and getting dressed while listening to him and his dad play music together :)
After being ghosted by my bff for almost a year, we finally hung out in person! we spent almost 7 hours laughing together—I’ve missed her so much.
Getting the keys to our first HOUSE today!
I just took off my second job so I’ll have weekends off in August!
Feeling safe and heard with a new potential partner.
Defending my MSc thesis today!! Scared and excited.
Finally got a job interview after applying for months!!
Pregnant with my 2nd beautiful girl and never happier I had an abortion before these two love bugs.
Had date night with my wife.
I saw my favorite band in concert for the first time tonight!!! It was amazing.
A 9pm trip to Kroger for cookies.
Partner & I decided to have a baby next year! After abortion years back, it’s so welcome!
Handed out my first business card this evening! What a rush!
Listening to folklore in the folklore woods aka some woods in New York that looks like it.
I quit my job and now I’m spending much needed time with my family.
Felt baby move for the first time this week!
Baby slept through the night for the first time!
I’m really excited to start college.
Saw Barbie again and ugh I just love women.
I vocalized my queer sexuality out loud to another person today for the first time ever.
Coworker told me another coworker shouted me out to our boss at their big meeting.
Going to sleep with someone for the first time post breakup and post tubes tied. Excited!!!
Made my boss a pie for her bday and she was so happy.
Celebrated 13 years with my partner. Love them more all the time.
Boyfriend telling our dog how much he loves her (they had a bit of a rocky start when we rescued her).
I am a double cat mama now and I hope one day they’ll be my baby human’s sisters.
Got my dog a new toy the other day and her reaction was just!
I adopted a dog and I’m so absolutely in love with him <3.
I’m pregnant, and my boss told me I’ll get 12 weeks paid maternity leave!! I’m so thankful.
Saw Barbie with my mom and sister and it was magical.
I’m thankful for my abortion.
Finally have a job interview for the first time since March!!
My bf drove me to the top of a hill after we were in bed so I could look at the moon.
Having my week old little nugget look up at me while he’s feeding.
I won an award for my internship work out of 250+ other nominees.
I opened a little shop and people showed up! It was the best feeling.
My 27 week ultrasound went fantastic! (I lost my first at 27 weeks and I’ve been anxious).
My partner of 5+ years and I are just CLICKING!! It feels like the beginning.
I’m pregnant with baby #3.
Visited my gf while she was on vacay. Sharing peaceful time together was <3.
Got to support a new friend today - feeling trusted and genuinely helpful.
Rearranged all my books and they are glorious.
Going to Taylor Swift on Monday!!!
My SIL asked me to make my niece’s birthday cake for her 1st birthday!
I got to speak on a panel about reporting on trans issues and it was amazing! Gave me back some hope.
I had an amazing weekend full of friends, dancing, and yummy food.
Had my first trial and got the case dismissed for my client! He’s free!
I quit my toxic job because I deserve better than it.
Sweet long distance bf and I decided to move in together this winter!!!
I *finally* have a place to rent of my own; I can leave people who traumatized me for so long.
I’m going to see my three best friends this weekend in my favorite place <3.
My boss told me I’m getting a significant raise!
Hosted my first show on the radio today. Super happy with it.
My husband told me he has so much to be happy about.
Hi just followed u 5min ago after buying ur book today…now I think I love u??? Ur a treat.
Watching the sunset & crafting with my girls.
Tomorrow is my last day at my unpaid internship!
My best friend got divorced yesterday and is falling in love with herself again <3.
BARBIE.
Taking my daughter to get her feet measured for the first time.
I’m growing zinnias for the first time and they’re so close to blooming!
Seeing my dog for the first time after being on vacation for a week.
A neighbor played bagpipes to officially open the yearly block party last night. Amazing.
My parents giving me a bucket of cherry tomatoes from their yard.
I started a new job at the state! Already I can tell I won’t be stressed out of my mind.
Had a girls night with a new friend. Felt like a first date and went well.
How my kids (5.5&3) run to each other and bear hug after being apart at school all day.
Went to a drs appointment that made me rlly nervous and everything went perfectly.
I can finally picture life with another woman.
They boy I’ve been dating is now my boyfriend and I’m all <3.
My AC went out (again); bf invited me over and turned his down to 66 degrees for me <3

True romance!!

I got offered a new position in my company and it’s closer to what I actually want to do!!
I’m going to see Black Pink in Las Vegas in two weeks.
You and I have the same exact bday and I’m also pregz (6.5 months!!) which is neat.
FINALLY preggy, we’re having the 1st girl in the fam in 3 generations. Can’t wait to tell everyone <3.
Met a guy who makes my heart race <3.
BF surprising me with our favorite chocolates when I got back in town.
Told boyfriend I hate making the travel plans, he now has a whole vacay planned for us!!!
I’m loving post-grad life. Finally enough time to read for fun & make art.