"a stranger silently shared her umbrella with me on my walk to the train"

and other selected secrets/sparkles

Jun 15, 2023

Hi friends, thank you so much for being here! It means a lot to me. If you enjoy my writing, I’d love it if you’d share A Little Something Sweet with the people you love. I also invite you to upgrade to a paid subscription, which gives you access to my Rom Coms Revisited movie club, exclusive recipes, and other subscribers-only content. Your support of my work allows me to keep creating here and elsewhere. I’m so grateful, xoxo.

remember, in this context:

secrets are the shadowy things that we want to share but might be tempted to hide because of shame/fear/social obligations.
sparkles are the things that make you feel most alive - little moments of joy/satisfaction/contentment that you wish you could bottle up.

click here to submit your own secrets/sparkles anonymously anytime.

loosely defined themes of the week: needing our friends, thinking something’s for us when it’s not, reconnecting

secrets

short & sweet/salty:

Left my old job bc I didn’t have enough work to do. Now in a new job I love… but I don’t want to work.
I have chronic recurring UTI's and it's really impacting my social life and sex life.
i haven't felt sexy in a while
I want to go out with a really hot guy but he has a girlfriend.
my mom's views in life are negatively affecting my own choices, and I don't know how to adjust that
I kissed someone for the first time since October & I felt like I was learning all over again.
I genuinely don’t think I’ll find someone to love who is able to put up with me. I feel unlovable.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day in my country and I am 31 and never had a boy. It makes me sad tbh.
I’m going to buy a giant bird of paradise today and I have no idea where I’ll put it.
I’m dating a guy I’m really excited about. But we have no future. Not aligned on kids.
I’m afraid to ask my partner if he feels us growing apart like I do.
I was masturbating very loud, I thought I was home alone. Then I met my flatmate in the kitchen…
I am really hoping to get pregnant this month.
I feel like I can’t fully enjoy my first house with the awful neighbor right next door.
I’m a therapist and I have panic attacks a lot. I feel like a sham.
I’m dating a 36 year old virgin and don’t know how to handle it.
I finally realised I don’t want a life with a romantic partner.
I’m post covid (late bloomer right?) - exhausted, depleted, struggling to work & be a mom.
I’m trying to finish my degree while working full time & I want to quit every day.
My friend got pregnant on purpose when she found out her bf was cheating on her.
My job is so stressful I have nightmares about it.
Just found out my ex is dating someone “I never had to worry about” he always lied/gaslit me. I don’t want him at ALL - I broke up with him. I just wish I had listened to my gut over him.
I fell & got hurt twice this week and it was scary how quickly it dampened my will to live.
They didn’t choose me…It hurts more than I can admit.
My parents are visiting for my mfa graduation and they’re stressing me the FUCK out.
I feel like my husband and I of 11 years are headed for divorce but I’m too scared to say it.
Definitely bi definitely scared.
I can’t sleep thru the night/every night I go to bed anxious about sleep/I feel crazy for fearing it.
Finally met someone I want to try out my open relationship on…
Embarrassed to say the career change I just made is not working.
I’m in love with my best friend.
Having doubts over moving my whole fam over to Spain but the US gives me so much anxiety.
My old friend hit on me when my spouse wasn’t there and I’m confused & sad & hurt.
I don’t remember the car wreck last week but I think it was maybe my fault.
To the therapist with the panic attacks: I think that helps you better serve your clients :)
I have a PhD and constantly feel like I don’t know anything at all, even in my field.
I left my toxic SD and I feel better.
I’m terrified to fly and I don’t want to go to my brother’s graduation next week.
I have to euthanize my anxious/aggressive dog. Feeling so much shame and guilt.
I just had an abortion on Friday - your affirmation videos helped me through it <3
A neighbor has a Trump 2024 yard flag & it makes me want to not let my kids play with theirs.
I don’t look forward to spending time with my mom. It just feels like a chore.
I need to have a “what are we doing” convo w my situationship today, nervous.
Mom and bro tension, instinct is to intervene & help but I know they must resolve just them.
I need more.
I’m a new grad and I have gotten two job rejections already. I just want a job.
I’m scared I will never find a job.
I’m unprepared for tomorrow’s fed tax law midterm, yet I’m half-dressed and scrolling insta.
I’m losing a friendship, I don’t know what I id wrong & I’m too afraid to ask.
My husband doesn’t know I’m bisexual.
I secretly love my best guy friend as more than friends after 20 years.
I have no plan for my future and it’s scary.
I don’t want to work like ever, I’d genuinely be happy being a housewife & it feels like betrayal.
Kinda worried I might have a weed problem.
Pregnant & baby’s father & I split. Falling for someone else already. Feeling guilty.
I want a sugar daddy & to never work again.
I don’t like my friends fiance and I’m her bridesmaid.
I’m not interested in sex anymore but I masturbate constantly.
I could never have sex again and be fine with that.
Started a new job that is honestly a dream job for me and the imposter syndrome is hitting hard.
I love my partner but wish I’d had time to explore my sexuality before we met.
Just discovered my husband of 17 years is cheating on me and am absolutely devastated.
I have finally realized that my life is my own, and my mentally ill sibling cannot be “saved”.
I don’t know if I want to buy a house with my gf anymore.
I feel like I can’t be myself living with my family.
I want to ghost my therapist.
I am F married to M for 18 years and I think I’m bi, but don’t know if I should come out.
I’m into my dance teacher and her friend.
We’ll shoplift a few items from Whole Foods and say it’s a gift from Uncle Jeff. Shit is pricey!
I’m afraid that I have grown incapable of falling in love.
Being single is great but it’s hard and lonely sometimes.
My mom died in a freak accident 2 months ago and my dad passed 4 years ago. I’m 26.
I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship and don’t know how to leave.
I got too drunk last night. Everyone said I was so fun, but I miss being sober.
I still have a crush for a man that has relationship problems, and I can’t think about anyone else.
Unemployed & trying to figure out my dream career but I don’t feel interested in ANYTHING.
Not a big secret but I’m upset my situationship hasn’t asked to be official yet.
I feel like I will never be able to love myself.
I have to quit smoking weed and I’m struggling so hard and I feel so ashamed.
I haven’t been touched or had sex in a long time and I feel touch starved.
I miss my ex-situationship-partner but I know it’s better for me if we are not together.
I did ghost my therapist and need to find a new one.
I hate the way people have treated me because I’m autistic, I’ve grown up guarded.
Got scammed on Taylor Swift tix and now idk what to do.
My ex told me he still masturbates to the thought of me. And I’m not disgusted.
I hate my college and I don’t know how to tell my parents.
I love my cat but it’s hard to make a cozy home with a cat that’s challenging and destroying everything. Makes me sad.
Got in touch with lifelong crush after couple years, she aged and I feel guilty for not feeling what I felt.
My bf is taking a very important exam and trying to support him but it’s really hard for me too.
I am still madly in love with my ex after he flipped my world upside down. Am I broken?

Definitely not, babe!

I borrowed too much money to others, now I’m not sure if I can pay for the things I need.
I feel ashamed and like a complete loser because I’m not making enough money.
I feel I deserve better than what people give me.
My situationship just dumped me I never imagined I’d be this sad about it.
5th iui and still not pregnant. I feel like it just won’t happen for me.
My fiances and I’s house offer was accepted and I’m so stressed.
I just found out my bf cheated on me but I can’t tell how I found out!
I only like sex in theory.
I feel disconnected from the people I was once closest to.
My partner has been on a work trip all week and I’ve never felt more lonely.
I thought I was gonna have sex with my ex and cried instead.
Accepted to med school (my biggest dream) but it doesn’t feel as exciting as it should.
I want to end the relationship with my boyfriend but I don’t know how.
Feel like my new manager is deliberately setting me up to fail…regret taking the job.
My mum just told me she doesn’t like my longterm partner and I’m devastated.
I truly dislike my “best” friend but can’t figure out a safe way to end the long friendship.
My friends don’t understand that the mom friend needs taking care of too.
Every night before falling asleep I fantasize about reconnecting with someone I was once in love with.
I quit my job recently bc my relationship and mental health were suffering, but I’m feeling anxious.
My boyfriend’s mom won’t like me she has to comment to boyfriend he doesn’t defend.
I’m proposing to my gf of 5 years tonight.
I feel like my friends are all moving on to better things, and distancing themselves from me.
I have cancer and I wish my friends were better at being there for me.
My best friend’s boyfriend is very mean, often saying very hurtful things to me.
Thanks for posting re: no sex, ik I’m not asexual so it just feels like something’s wrong w me :/
I’m feeling really hurt by the way my friends are leaving me out.
I got fired for refusing to falsify data, I kept my integrity but it’s still sad and scary.
I think my friend has an addiction problem but I don’t know how to talk about it.
My husband’s deployed and I feel a little depressed despite using coping mechanisms.
I really don’t want kids. I think it’s because of an abortion I had 4 years ago.
I was scammed by my dentist.
To the person who wants to ghost their therapist, I’m ghosting my dentist.
Just moved across the country w/ my bf 6 weeks ago. We broke up yesterday & I’m relieved.
Idk how to tell my bf I don’t want kids.
My bfs parents are using me as a scapegoat bc he’s finally setting boundaries with them.
I am in a very slutty phase right now and enjoying it to the fullest!
I’ve been stuck on a guy for a year, and I feel like I’m always trying to make him jealous.
I’m 27, in a 10 year hetero relationship and just figured out I’m bi and don’t know how to react.
I think I maybe have a crush on my friend and her visa is expiring soon.
Recently started having panic dreams where I can’t breathe.
I don’t know if the college I applied to is the one for me (most of the students are men).
I think I’m going to fall in love, and it’s the first time I’m not scared about it.

We’re supposed to take a big trip Thursday, and my mom just got real sick.
I’m sad not to have a person.
I have been struggling hard since having my baby. I love my baby, but I miss who I was before.
Had an affair. Ended bc guilt. Cannot stop thinking about him.
I’m not ready for kids and it’s hurting my marriage.
Haven’t had sex with my husband since Feb and I feel so lost.
I really thought I was going to get engaged this weekend.
My husband has been sick and all I feel is resentful.
I feel guilty for being a stay at home parent.
I won an alumni achievement award in April but I’m broke and my businesses are failing.
I just broke up with my girlfriend and I feel so so sad but also relieved.
My dad is an alcoholic and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Just my period after our first month TTC. I’m sad and in pain.
I had a huge argument with my partner and we got into a fight really bad and I’m very lost.
I have a little tiny crush with my improv teacher. Next Sunday is the last class. Oh well.
Hanging out with my ex again and can’t tell my sister I know she’d be so disappointed.
I liked my MIL until my baby arrived and now I cannot stand the sight of her near my child.
Having recurrent tendonitis pain for the first time a year, and really trying not to spiral about it.
I just watched Feel Good and realized I’m bisexual! I wish I had realized before I married.
I worry I’m becoming invisible and spineless.
The idea of my partner being poly was terrifying at first. Now I’m realizing I might be also?
I give students narcan in case their friends OD instead of teaching 0 tolerance.
I wish I could protect my partner from his parents.
Can’t say my mom ruined my wedding bc I still loved it but her behavior made me so sad.
I think I may want to move again to different side of country and I just moved in January…
I saw money on the floor in my bank’s vestibule…I included it in my deposit.
Trying to heal from getting dumped is so hard and I’m barely afloat.
I can’t stand not being the center of attention when with my friends.
I just started working at my new job and am already planning on quitting.
I’m happy to be back to work after an 18 month maternity leave (Canada).
I’m so angry at my sister for going back to her bf who sa her and made her get an abortion.
My best friend of 12 years and I live very close and I haven’t seen her in 4 months.
I can never tell any of my friends I dislike children bc they all have kids.
Wish 2 go back in time & have sex w/ a college fling, I was too nervous at 19, I’m 36 now.
I have a loving & stable LDR but I keep feeling the urge to hookup with my bff here.
I am terrified all the time.
I’m in love for the first time but it’s too early to say it.
Been bragging about my new job, but leaving out that it’s only 6 weeks long. No job after that.
My ex died last week and idk how I will get over it. We’re both married to different people.
I have a gf, saw my ex on a party and fucked my head up. I miss him so much. It’s been 7 yrs.
I’m finally ready to move out but I’m worried about how my mom will manage without me.
I’m extremely horny and have been debating going back to an old fwb.
May have accidentally spent $700 or so on Poshmark the first night I got the app.
I steal one item from Whole Foods every time I go oops (fuck Jeff bezos)
My friend asked me to hook her up with my other friend, whom I have a secret (mutual) crush on.

long-form:

Finally worked up the nerve to research a therapist covered by my healthcare and offering the type of help I need. The website said they were required to respond within two days. It’s been three days and nothing. I’m tired of asking for help and being ignored. I feel overlooked and unworthy of assistance. I’ve been denied help for bullshit reasons (no trauma as a direct cause of my depression=not actually depressed, self-harm ignored because it was “only superficial,” told to just lose weight and I’ll feel better) multiple times over the years, and every time it sent me spiraling. I’m in my thirties and only got my bipolar diagnosis two years ago. I thought things were supposed to get better.
I was suppose to visit my grandpa on a Saturday but he died Tuesday, on my graduation. Now his funeral is the day I get back from an out of country trip and there’s no way for me to get there. I’m literally so crushed I can’t say goodbye to him.
Finally pregnant after over a year of trying. I’m so grateful and even relieved, but the first trimester has been rough and I’m realizing that my self worth is tied to my productivity level - both are extremely low right now.

sparkles

short & sweet:

been single for five years and just started dating someone I really like!! I have a boyfriend!!!! he is so silly and he cares about me so much :)
I finally made some progress with my dad on his transphobia. don't know if he'll ever fully understand, but its progress! happy pride!!
Just applied to a peer mentoring program in my field that may help me in my career -- wish me luck! :)
going on a vacation to europe next week!! super super excited, I've never been to that part of the world
I love that I get to work with a group of compassionate, intelligent and nutty people! They never fail to make me feel seen, validated and appreciated.
After years of fear, I finally came out to my family!
I just graduated last night!! I’m so relieved I’m done with school!
I sold two pieces of art today!
I’m finally getting help for my dog who has separation anxiety. Feeling hopeful!
Sleepover with my 8 y/o cousin in my first house.
Teared up on my walk to work listening to our first dance song for our wedding next month!
Happy/relieved to have my first boring bday. Studying all day/early dinner w my fiance.
Music teacher and finally done with big performances for the year!!!
Got new bras that fit and are actually cute! A luxury for a 34G.
My dog fell asleep on my legs <3
Praised on my first few assignments from my boss at my new job! I’m only 2 weeks in.
My best friend took me out to dinner (platonically) and it was great.
I am in love and it feels so good.
Quitting my job today to move abroad in 2 weeks!
I got my dream job at MO Botanical Gardens and I feel like my life is finally starting.
My boyfriend showed up at the hospital after I told him to stay at work and not worry.
I found my wedding dress this weekend!
My kids reading together on the couch unprompted.
I’m so proud of how my best friend protects her people & the logic and love she puts into the world.
Finally paid my car off after 7 years!
Had a long first “date” phone call and wow he’s wonderful.
I was adamant to breastfeed for health never thought how sweet it would be as bonding.
Made a strawberry pie yesterday, just for fun!
I’m healing from brain cancer.
Graduated with my MSW on Monday.
Taught 3 dance classes today & they all went amazingly!!
I haven’t met by baby niece yet, but I already love her so much.
Starting doula work again for the first time since my kiddo was born. I’m nervous/excited!
Caught up w my sweet friend/first ever roommate over pasta!!
I dumped an asshole and am sad but so much happier.
Reconnected with my bff after a year and it feels SO GOOD.
My BFF is officially in a relationship with someone I set her up with.
I got married today on a yacht in Croatia! The only guests were my nephew & 4 siblings.
There is a man that loves me just like the light shines.
I took care of something that was stressing me out all day and I feel amazing!
I get to spend the day with my best friend who lives in Sweden so I don’t see her often.
I have my first paid baking gig this weekend <3
Porch time with friends who have really never hesitated to love me <3
ICWA was upheld in the Supreme Court!!